What’s your take on loss and disappointment?

This week’s post is inspired by a quote that was recently shared with me. It said, “The best thing about this life is that everything I’ve ever lost, has been replaced with something better. I never lack, I just transition.”

This got me thinking about times in my life and career when I thought I had lost something, a friendship or a career opportunity. I still recall the disappointments and the feelings of being cheated in the aftermath of the loss.

Whenever I looked back, I was glad for how things transpired. There were promotion opportunities that I missed out on but within months, the team would no longer exist. So what appeared to be a loss actually ended up saving my job. This happened too many times to count.

Once I couldn’t get some changes to my working patterns through but a divinely timed restructuring activity gave me the opportunity to join a different team. This opened the door to me getting all the changes I wanted.

A few weeks later, I got the opportunity to rejoin my old team but this time it was based on the previously denied terms. I realised that there was a purpose to the long-winded journey.

So what have I learnt from all of these experiences? I have learnt that:

Nothing is an accident

I learnt that God is sovereign and He has a plan for me. Yes, I don’t always have the full picture but I have a choice to trust and wait. This means I don’t give in to the immediate despair but I hope for the better day which is sure to come.

Never give up trying

I learnt to never give up on my dreams. So when I didn’t get some jobs, I asked for feedback and prepared better for the next time. I filled any gaps in my knowledge and got mentors. I knew another opportunity would come up and by not giving up, I made sure I was always ready for it.

Don’t play the blame game

In times of disappointment it’s easy to blame others. Sometimes there could be someone you could blame but quite frankly, this is a waste of your time and energy. You can’t force someone to do the right thing but you can take control of your responses and take responsibility for your actions.

Rather than play the blame game, review your position, empower yourself and be ready for what comes next. If you stay busy progressing in other ways, you find there’s little time to spend on negativity.

Learn to forgive

This is a tough one but worth the effort. It’s for your own good. It really doesn’t matter whether the other person recognises or admits the wrong they did to you. Forgiveness is a choice.

Don’t stay in a place of regret or despair

Don’t get stuck in the place of regret or despair. See the opportunity to redefine your future and make some different choices. Since you’re already disappointed, the only way is up so embrace this.

There’s a lesson in everything that we go through

I have often found that when I take a moment to rationally look at every past loss or disappointment I learnt what to do and not to do. I became more resilient, I turned to my family and friends strengthening those relationships.

Talk to trusted people

Use your network wisely to help you process your feelings and navigate the disappointment. This gets you through the change curve a lot quicker that when going at it alone. We are surrounded by people who care so look for them.

Don’t let the experience change you

The biggest danger when faced with disappointment is that we allow it to bring out the worst in us. Say you have an unappreciative boss or one who takes credit for your work, you might be tempted to stop putting in your best. That would be the wrong response.

Remember you have a brand and a reputation to protect, so stay on course and continue to do your best.

Thanks for reading and sharing my post. See you next week.