Going Through

At a recent men’s breakfast event the speaker shared his life story and the transformational journey he’s been on.

One highlight that came back to me was ‘going through’. He referred to a book that he read to children in Sunday school.

The main message from the book is that, “we can’t go around, we can’t go above and we can’t go under. We must go through.” As I pondered on this it reminded me of the realities of life.

We can’t go above life, we can’t go under life and we certainly can’t go around life. We must go through life but how we go through it and who we go through it with is what really matters.

Two key questions from me today are: How do we go through life? Who do we go through life with? Your answers to these questions will determine the quality of your life experiences.

Many of us struggle through life, feel alone, lost, desperate, negative dejected and rejected. Others go through life with a spring in their steps no matter what they are going through.

Some question the reason for their existence or why they are saddled with a burden to carry through life. Others have embraced their burdens making lemonade out of the lemons that life handed out.

I lost my father nineteen years ago and it was a really tough time. There were other things that compounded my grief and sense of loss. I remember struggling alone through this, feeling like I had no one to talk to about how I was feeling.

It took all my strength to get out of bed and my lifesaver was the need to care for my young children. This gave me a routine that meant I had to get out of bed even when I didn’t feel like it.  

Some weeks, I could barely keep it together but somehow I muddled through. I still remember the day I saw the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. Yes, there is such a thing as that.

In my mind’s eye, I could see myself in that tunnel. I looked up and I saw the tiniest dot of light you could imagine and in that moment, I knew I was going to be just fine.

I wish I could say that I snapped out of that place and felt magically wonderful the next day but that would be a lie. What happened instead was that each day that I saw myself in that tunnel, I also saw the light getting brighter. One day I woke up and it was all light and no more dark tunnel.

What did I learn about ‘going through’ during this phase?

‘Life’ can happen to anyone

I am a very positive and mentally strong person but life happened. Growing up, I saw many things as signs of weakness. I saw admitting tiredness, crying or showing my feelings as signs of weakness. I always felt the need to be strong no matter what was going on. I picked up everyone’s slacks. I was superwoman.

Today, I understand it’s ok to cry, it’s ok to say, ‘NO’ and not feel guilty about it and it’s ok to admit I’m struggling or tired. It’s absolutely ok to take time to myself and not feel compelled to please anyone.

Find people you can talk to

Back then, I didn’t feel I could talk to anyone but today, I have enough people in my life that I trust enough to bare my soul and share my struggles with.  

And if you truly believe you don’t have people in your sphere that you can talk to, speak to a professional. The point is there is always someone who will listen. Don’t believe the lie that you’re all alone because you are not.

Embrace a routine and don’t isolate yourself

One of the temptations that we face in times of struggles is that of hiding out. This is so much easier than making an effort. It’s what makes us pull the duvet over our heads, refuse to get up from the couch or even become an emotional eater. Resist this.

This is the time to say yes to that invite to have coffee with a friend. It’s the time to go for a walk even if you don’t feel like it.

Find things to do that give you a reason to get up – even if you are out of work or a stay-at-home parent, become a volunteer.

Trust in God

The most important thing in my life is my faith and relationship with a God who has promised to never leave me, a God who loves me unconditionally in my strongest and weakest moments and a God who feels everything that I feel with me, hears me and speaks to me.

I don’t know what you believe and who you believe in but I do know you won’t go wrong if you ask God to show Himself and prove His existence to you. I find He always responds to our yearning for the TRUTH.

Think about your ‘how and who’ as you go through life and take any necessary steps. Here’s to going through and remember, ‘this too shall pass’.

Thank you for reading and sharing my post with others. Have a great week and see you next week.