Look Again. What Do You See?

After an online meeting, a friend and I chatted about how unflattering some gadgets make us look. This soon led us to how we see ourselves and how others see us.

We concluded that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and is magnified when a person is loved, happy, hopeful, fulfilled and joyful.

This got me thinking about my teenage years, twenties, thirties, forties and now…

Interestingly looking back, I don’t recall looking at the mirror and seeing myself as beautiful. I didn’t think I was unattractive either, I simply saw myself as average. Now when I see my old pictures, I wonder what was wrong with my eyes that I didn’t see what I now see.

One of my closest friends in my university days gave me a birthday card that had the word ‘Charisma’ written on it.

Until then I never saw myself as having charisma but it took seeing through his eyes to appreciate that about myself. That still remains a precious memory.

Our discussion made me realise that I’m not alone in the distortion that I battle when I look at myself. Too many of us face distortions about our image, work, and effort.

The question is, ‘Do I want to look back in my sixties and seventies only to then see how amazing I was in my fifties or do I want to see that about myself now?’

Sadly we live in an ‘air-brushed’ world where we have been sold a lie about what beauty and success is and isn’t.

The lies we are told are also based on other lies. The lies about beauty that we see on magazine covers or on social media are based on people who appear flawless which is very rarely the case.

We are told to do this to be an overnight success; eat this and drink that to be perfect in three weeks. Some people follow this hoping for results that will never come in that time frame. So they end up disappointed and give up.

We must challenge our perception of how we see ourselves and what others see. We have fallen victims to the lies for too long. It’s time to fight back and it starts with us.

See yourself through the Master Designer’s eyes

We are all uniquely designed and every detail was thought about. You were born against all odds. Your DNA is special and you have to appreciate that.

We are naturally wired to focus on the things we don’t like about ourselves which means we lose sight of all the fantastic parts.

Surround yourself with people who choose to see the best in you

A friend recently told me I am amazing and I jokingly replied, ‘it depends on who you ask’. We all have good and bad days or experiences which cause people to reach conclusions.

We are blessed with friends and loved ones who see the best in us while others may focus on our mistakes and assume the worst about us.

Change your perception of yourself

It doesn’t really matter what others think unless you agree with them. Everyone around you can see how amazing you are but if you don’t see that, you will never appreciate yourself.

Stop letting the world define beauty or success for you. Revise your criteria for appreciating yourself and the gift that you are.

Be kind to yourself

If we treat ourselves with the same kindness we show to others, our lives would be more joyful.

If someone else commented about a wrinkle, we are more likely to brush off their comment and reassure them but we don’t do this for ourselves.

When others make a mistake, we remind them it was just a mistake and we encourage them, but we put our own mistakes under the microscope so we can met out appropriate self-condemnation.

Be grateful

I have decided that when I see the crows feet that are starting to form when I smile, I will be grateful that I have a reason to smile.

When I think about the wrinkles that will be obvious one day, I will be grateful because it means I’m here when others aren’t.

If my eyes are drawn to the dark circles or swelling around them, I will be grateful that the eyes have shed tears of joy, sadness, pain and regret but I am still standing and hopeful.  

I invite you to look again. Look at the struggles you’ve overcome, the failures you’ve turned around, the heartbreaks you’ve survived, the people who have loved you and those who still do.

What you see is evidence of your longevity. Look at every wrinkle, lines, grey hairs with love, gratitude and kindness. Appreciate the smile that pushes through the tears. Appreciate your unique beauty which only gets better with each passing day.

Thanks for reading my post. Please share this with others.