Blissful Ignorance

The phrase ‘blissful ignorance’ took on a whole new meaning for me yesterday. And I immediately thought of Schrödinger’s cat.

For some reason, I didn’t check my WhatsApp messages until just before midnight as I prepared to go to bed.

The plan wasn’t to read them, it was to get an idea of what I needed to catch up on. The first message I saw was from my friend asking me if I had seen the message on my school WhatsApp group announcing the passing of one of us. I went into a tailspin of shock, disbelief and denial.

I had spent hours struggling to find something to write for my blog until I finally settled on the topic, ‘Breaking News’, not knowing that a heartbreaking news had already broken and I was blissfully unaware.

Emmanuel Omotayo ’Eja’ Ebo had left us with no warning.

I found myself going over my day looking for any signs that I might have missed. Was the dull pain that I had in my chest this morning a sign of what was to come? What was I doing at exactly 3pm when he took his final breathe? Why didn’t I get a nudge to pray for him? Was my loss of appetite through the day about him?

And when I felt like having cinnamon toast about 8.30pm, (about the time the news broke), and my sensible side said no, I felt a nudge to eat it without apology and a reminder to live a little.

Was he perhaps smiling as I struggled to settle on what to write because he knew I would eventually be writing about him?

Schrödinger’s cat! If only I hadn’t checked my WhatsApp messages before going to bed, Emmanuel would still have been alive – for me – even though he was already gone.

As I struggled to process the news, I thought of how I could describe him in just two words, so here I go:

He cared

Eja as he was popularly known cared about his classmates and friends. Every time I called him because there was an issue to resolve or help to render to a classmate, he sprung into immediate action.

Because he cared, he spoke up and stood up for us all. He was outspoken and sometimes blunt but he was compassionate, kind and generous. He looked out for us all.

He sowed

He wasn’t a pastor but every morning, he posted a prayer on to our school forum and it didn’t matter how many people acknowledged the prayer, he faithfully did that day after day.

My last message to him was two days before he died and as is typical of him, he asked how I was doing. He never missed a beat in quickly catching me even if I was online for a minute.

He was a hard and tireless worker for our school alumni group behind the scenes and openly. He was an encourager and checked in on people. He was a connector, bridge builder and kept the peace.

He lived

At our school reunion a few months ago, Eja was the first person dancing with abandonment. He would post pictures of his food making us all drool over what we were missing. Because of him, I wanted to go to places and eat some of the food he shared with us.

He was always checking who might be in his vicinity so he could arrange to meet up with them. And we all had an open invitation to be hosted by him.

He loved

Eja loved his friends and classmates. He was generous in his loving. At the recent reunion, he worked tirelessly and checked to make sure we were all fine.

He celebrated his anniversaries and birthdays with us. He loved God. He wasn’t afraid of death and so he lived the life he wanted to live – one with no fear, restrictions or limits.

So as I mourn a dear friend and classmate, I celebrate the athlete that he was which earned him the nickname ‘Eja – Fish’ because he was an excellent swimmer. I once asked him if it was still okay to call him Eja now that we are all grown up and he joyfully owned it.

I celebrate the family man, husband and father that he became. And I celebrate the loyal friend that he was to us all as the curtain closes on a wonderful human.

In closing I share with you the lessons I’ve learnt from his life – to care, sow, live and love to the best of my ability.

May his soul rest in peace and I pray his family will be comforted and encouraged at this difficult time.

Thanks for reading my post. See you next week.