Some Dos And Don’ts

As a young child, there were always lists of dos and don’ts that I had to abide by. A golden one was to do on to others as I would like them to do to me. As I grew up the list evolved to reflect my age, maturity and trust-quotient.

In boarding school, the dos and don’t’s included making your bed every morning, doing your morning chores, not bullying your fellow students and not bringing contrabands to school.

We live in a world full of rules and regulations. This is even more so now that the world is facing many crisis – moral, religious, political, financial and health. We are faced with an ever evolving list of ‘dos’ and ‘don’ts’.

The one thing that is common to rules and regulations is that people will always resist and test the boundaries. We are naturally wired to dislike restrictions.

So smart leaders have a knack for making us do what we don’t want to do by making us think it’s our idea when it really isn’t.

Successful people learn the art of persuasion, pitching ideas, sales, communication and negotiation. All of these skills are highly needed to persuade people to do the right thing.

Some rules are for our own good. One of the most famous rules that was broken with consequences is from the story of Adam and Eve eating the forbidden fruit. So the desire to break rule is old news.

As I pondered this week’s post, I decided to compile some do’s and don’ts for myself. Obviously there are way too many to cover but here are the top ones that I want to share with you.

Don’t regret growing older as not many get the chance to do so. Don’t feel the world owes you, otherwise you risk becoming a victim

Don’t expect immediate results, some things take time and as they say,
Rome was not built in a day.

Don’t resent other people’s success, you don’t know the price they paid. Don’t shy away from your responsibilities, because they are yours

Don’t give up after the first failure/mistake, success is possible as long as we don’t stop trying

Don’t waste time feeling sorry for yourself, that is time lost that you could spend on other things. There is taking time out to reflect and learn from your mistakes but there is staying stuck feeling sorry. That latter place is where you don’t want to be.

Don’t worry about pleasing everyone, because that’s a guaranteed path to disappointment. I love this quote which Mature Gambino says is from his mum and it says, ‘you can lie down for people to walk on you and they will still complain that you are not flat enough.’

Don’t waste energy on things you can’t control or change. You need to learn to cut your losses on time; and starting with the things you can’t control or change is a smart move.

Do take calculated risks. Everyday we take many risks without even thinking, so for those scary things that weigh on our minds, weigh the facts and make a decision. Remember, delaying the decision or not making a decision are also decisions.

Do focus on the present and look forward to the future. The past is gone and we can’t get it back. The present can be lost if we stop being mindful.

Maya Angelou puts it like this, ‘if you must look back, do so forgivingly, if you must look forward, do so prayerfully. However the wisest thing you can do is be present in the present …. gratefully.

Do appreciate the gift of life because it is a blessing that is not afforded to everyone.

Do forgive yourself for past mistakes, just do better as you know better. Start living a life of growth so every mistake becomes a platform for the lessons to elevated you.

Do what takes you out of your comfort zone. As Seneca says, ‘while we wait for life, LIFE passes.’ Get out of your comfort zone and move forward’

Do stop unhealthy comparisons with others, we are created equal but we aren’t duplicates of each other. Our uniqueness gives no room for comparison.

Thanks for reading and sharing my post. I would love to hear about some of your dos and don’ts. See you next week.