Time To Break Out

We live in a world that is obsessed with how we are seen by others. Millions of images are projected daily to sell a narrative to the world and many times these pictures do not tell the whole story. Sometimes they even promote lies with no element of truth.

That’s why we are surprised when someone who always projects beautiful and happy images suddenly confesses to battling some emotional and psychological demons, addictions or worse still, we hear they’ve taken their own lives.

Our responses are so often shock, surprise, guilt, shame and perhaps disappointment that they didn’t reach out and ask for help.

A couple of Nigerian proverbs come to mind as I ponder this. One says, ‘only the wearer of the shoes knows where the painful pinch is’ and another says, ‘all lizards crawl on their bellies so there’s no way to tell which one has a stomach ache.’

The reality is that only you know where the itch is, what the pain is like, how the shoe fits and what is really going on.

Living a lie or projecting fake narratives are not good for our mental health. Responding to people’s situations or narratives without understanding and compassion is not good for our society.

So it’s time to explore some guiding thoughts and actions we can take.

Break out of fear of what people think

People will have an opinion about you but they are not you. They can pretend to be you, they can imagine what it feels like to be you and they can try to put themselves in your shoes. The key word there is ‘try’ because that’s all they can do.

I am challenged by a quote from David Icke which says, “The greatest prison people live in is the fear of what other people think.”

There’s no beating about the bush – we all care about what others think. And many times it’s fine to do so because we live in a world with other people and some of our decisions may have far reaching consequences on them.

The secret is in identifying when we are imprisoned by the fear of what others will think. This fear can keep us in situations where we do harm to ourselves so it’s no longer consideration for others, it becomes zero consideration for ourselves.

Break out of the need to put on a brave face

No one will know what you’re going through unless you are willing to speak up and ask for the help you need.

The desire to put on a brave face also stems from fear – fear of appearing weak and pitiful, fear of not being understood, fear of rejection, fear of judgement and fear of being a subject of ridicule, conversation or worse still; both.

This is one time that you can’t afford to care about any of those fears. Many fears are imagined anyway but even if they are not, this is you fighting for you and that is something to be proud of. That is brave.

Break out of the need to be judgmental

Some people think they are experts about other people’s lives and have an opinion about matters they know nothing of. If this describes you, kindly do the world a favour by breaking out of the need to be judgmental.

Even if you have an opinion, it doesn’t always have to be voiced. Sometimes we wonder why people don’t ask for help, have you considered your past reactions when they did?

You can only claim to be an expert on your own life and even then, I will query your expertise since you’re not your own Creator.

Unless you can show compassion, tolerance, understanding and love, my plea is to stay out of situations you know nothing of.

Even as the world battles Covid-19 crisis, lockdowns, social distancing, financial losses, racial, political and religious tensions, we must do our part to create a healthier, happier, more inclusive, embracing, loving, compassionate and understanding world.

Our mental, emotional and physical health and that of others depend on us. We are here for such a time as this and we can all make a positive difference. Remember, ‘Kindness begins with the understanding that we all struggle.’ Charles Glassman

We must break out of any mindsets that does harm to others and to ourselves.

Thank you for reading my post. See you next week.