What Do You See?

Recently I was listening to someone talk about their journey of attaining a goal that was really important to them. I was struck by their use of the word, ‘obstacles’ as a way to describe what I saw as the standard steps in the process.

It made me consider how the way we see things and the words we use can shape our actual experiences. Many people have attempted to share this same message in their own words.

Wayne Dyer said “If you believe it will work out, you’ll see opportunities. If you believe it won’t you will see obstacles.”

Oscar Wilde in ‘Lady Windermere’s Fan puts it in a cheeky way when he said, “we are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”

And Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re right.”

They are all expressing the same sentiment or message. What we see and what we speak will shape our experiences.

One of my god children has just turned seventeen and he’s about to start learning how to drive. There are some steps between his desire and him getting the driving licence which include sitting a written examination, taking driving lessons and doing the driving test.

The process requires every one of these necessary steps to be taken but he can choose to see them as obstacles to overcome. The word, ‘obstacle’ has a negative connotation which can mess with our minds.

The dictionary definition of obstacle is a thing that blocks one’s way or prevents or hinders progress.

Before I learnt how to drive, I had a fear of being left in a car with the engine running. I would picture the car starting to move on it’s own and losing control while I was in the passenger’s seat or at the back completely helpless.

I knew it was an irrational fear and the chance of it happening was low but I still couldn’t avoid that scary image. So anytime I was left in a car, I would double check the gear was in the park position and the hand brake was pulled. This would temporarily allay my fears until I pictured the car having a mind of its own and disengaging all those safety features.

Once I started to learn more about cars, it put the fear into perspective. When I knew how to drive, the fear disappeared. I soon realised the car wasn’t ‘waiting to get me’. It was useful to me and responded to my instructions and I was in control of it. My fear reduced as my perspective changed.

That leads me to the need for REFRAMING. We are living in days when this is so important for our mental and emotional well-being.

The pandemic has been an unwelcome interruption and distraction for all of us and even as further lockdowns are announced, our mental and emotional healths are being battered. Our perspective has to be right otherwise we will give into despair.

We must watch what and how we see. We certainly must mind our language – the words that come out of our mouth about what we see.

Our glass can be half full or half empty. The rain can be seen as an irritant or a blessing to farmers. The homework our children bring home can either be seen as a chore or remind us of an investment into their own future.

Our jobs can either be seen as a pain or an opportunity to put food on the table. Valid Steps in a process can be seen as obstacles or NOT.

It comes back to how we choose to see. It’s time to have another think, another look and adopt a more positive language and consequently attitude. It’s time to start reframing in the right ways.

Thank you for reading and sharing my post. Have a great week.