Stop The Doubt

We all have moments when self-doubt kicks in and this can happen when we least expect it. And it can happen to any of us even when we are usually confident or been in high powered positions.

It can happen when we are asked to speak in public or when we’ve been out of work and decide to go back. It could happen right before attending a job interview or before meeting ‘the parents’.

Michelle Obama talked about dealing with self-doubt when she was thinking about publishing her book which has now sold over 15 million copies. Imagine if she had given in to the self-doubt and quit halfway into the process.

I can relate to her story. When I was thinking about publishing my two books (Flying High In a Polka Dot Dress and The Purposeful Life Project) and starting this blog, I found myself wondering who would read them.

Who am I to take on such projects? Why did I feel qualified to write? Who even cares? All these questions stem from self-doubt and the thought that one isn’t good, interesting or qualified enough.

The point is that we can all find ourselves in situations where we end up doubting our own abilities even when they’ve never been in question.

When this happens we have two options – give into the self-doubt or not. We can choose to put ourselves out there by refusing to listen to the voice of doubt, panic and fear. It is also called taking a risk.

If we do the opposite and give into the self-doubt, it usually doesn’t get any easier. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. The self-doubt affects our performances; reinforces our fears, magnifies our mistakes or failures and we doubt ourselves even more.

Worst case scenario is that self doubt stops us from taking any action. This cycle needs to be broken if we are to make much progress in life.  

So how do we deal with self-doubt?

Make a choice

Decide that you won’t be stopped by self-doubt. You will prepare, plan and take actions. You will learn from any mistakes if things go sour and you will have no regrets.

As Mel Robbins puts it, “Doubting yourself is normal. Letting it change you is a choice”

Speak to people

There are people in your lives who can encourage you, challenge your fears and help you see through a clearer lens. They could be friends, family members, colleagues, faith leaders and mentors.

Some of them will know and see things about you that you don’t know. Look up a tool called the Johari window.

Take action

Make a plan and take some action. Every journey starts with us taking a step so start yours. The first few steps might be shaky, scary, and daunting but it will get easier with each step. Eventually your excitement will help make it easier as you accomplish your baby steps.

Remember you can learn what you don’t know.

Celebrate

Celebrate your milestones. Learn to celebrate the journey and not just the destination. Let’s assume you’re looking for a new job; celebrate spotting the right opportunity because you could easily have missed it.

After submitting your application, celebrate that moment. If you get an interview, celebrate that. Make your interview preparation celebration worthy and that means you would have done everything humanly possible to be ready.

Celebrate the fact that you got through the interview without falling apart. And whatever the outcome is, choose to be grateful because so many things had already worked out.

Even if it’s not the outcome you wanted, you know you will be better prepared the next time another opportunity comes up. In that moment you can still celebrate the lessons learned.

Gratitude goes hand in hand with celebration. A grateful heart spots the opportunities to celebrate their blessings and the Giver of blessings.

Make sure you don’t allow self-doubt to hinder you.

Thanks for reading my post. Please share it with others and be a blessing to them. Have a great week.