Fighting Back

Last week, I wrote about giving things a try and encouraged you to figure out what is stopping you.

I come from a country where many believe the enemies of their progress are other people or spiritual in nature; others will prefer to pray about these things than face the truth that they might actually be a huge contributor to their own problems.

It’s so much easier to think your solutions lie with someone else or other outside forces because that way, you can avoid any sense of responsibility or culpability.

I remember my late father saying that there are many things that we blame the devil for and the devil’s response is that he has nothing to do with the situation.

He often used this analogy when people knowingly made poor choices and their easy defence becomes, ‘it’s the work of the devil’.

It’s the work of the devil when one intentionally goes to great lengths to defraud their employers. If they succeed, God gets the glory for supposedly ‘blessing’ them but if they are caught, the enemy gets the blame for their poor choices. Either way, they hope to have a ‘get out of jail’ card because it wasn’t really them. Or was it?

So how can we fight back against those pesky ‘enemies of progress’?

Start with the enemy within

Don’t give your power away because you need it to tackle your own role in the problem.

If you start with the outside enemies, you immediately give your power away as your focus is on the outside and you could completely lose sight of the changes you need to make. Quite often, ‘YOU!’ are at top of your own list of enemies.

Motivation versus Discipline

Most times I am not motivated to do what I need to do to stay in shape because it’s just not fun or easy. Lately I have gone for my morning walks in all manners of temperatures ranging from -6 to 0 degrees.

I would much rather stay in my warm bed for another hour but this does not serve my long term goal of keeping fit. So I replace motivation with discipline and routine.

I lay my gym clothes out in the evening and as soon as I wake up, I don’t allow myself the luxury of choice or thinking about how I feel about exercising. I simply get up, dress up and get out.

Too many of us are waiting to be motivated and that may never happen. Remember, ‘Discipline is choosing between what you want now and what you want most.’ Abraham Lincoln

Find people who will tell you the truth in love

Too many of us want people to tell us what we want to hear, not what we need to hear.

Sadly family members and friends are notorious for not telling each other hard but needed truths because they don’t want to hurt their loved one’s feelings and don’t want to rock the boat of the family or friendship dynamics.

I grew up in a family where we were raised not to bury our heads in the sand or shy away from the hard truths. One of those difficult conversations happened after our father’s death. We knew there wasn’t any outside help or anyone to step in his shoes.

We mapped out an approach to the future we all wanted and we worked at it. Today, many people compliment us on our family as if it happened by chance not realising the deliberateness and commitment to creating the kind of family dynamics and successes that each of us has today.

Quit the excuses

Finally quit finding reasons not to do the needful. If you have an exam, there’s a demand for your time and a pull between studying and other activities.

It’s not easy to make some choices but that is exactly what you must do. I find that just reminding myself of the time sensitive nature of the exams preparation and promising to reward myself with relaxation time afterwards helps. Having a to do list and letting it drive your day sounds simple but can be enough to focus your actions.

When struggling to make ends meet financially, cutting your credit cards, stopping that daily take-out coffee or meals and regular restaurant visits, routine mani-pedi might feel like a huge sacrifice, but it will make a difference in getting you back on track.

Our minds will want to excuse that gourmet coffee and justify it as ‘self-love’ but it’s anything but that, especially, if it worsens the hole you’re already in.

Please share your own practical tips so we can all grow together. Thanks for reading and sharing my post. See you next week.