When Getting Lost Pays

Many of us are wired to always wanting to get things right and doing the right thing. We easily become our own worst critic holding ourselves to exacting and exerting standards; allowing negative self-talk to take hold when we miss the mark.

Others want to hold us to standards that they don’t hold themselves to; making it unsafe for mistakes to be made around them.

Recently, I was in a station that has gone through a massive regeneration program making it almost unrecognisable. Fortunately for me, I had used the station many times previously so I knew my way out of the station.

I got to my meeting and ran into a couple of my colleagues who had stories of getting lost. I was pleased about my earlier accomplishment.

When we were heading back to the station, it was easy for me to give directions since I ‘got it right’ in the morning; so I did. Everything was fine until we decided all parallel roads should lead us to the station; the logic was sound so we took a road I didn’t recognise.

By the time we got to the main road, I felt well and truly lost as nothing looked familiar. Guess who came to our rescue?

One of my colleagues recognised that was how she came out of the station so we at least knew to follow that way back in to the station. After we got in, we were in a what could easily have been a shopping mall which she didn’t recognise.

The other person had passed through the shopping mall earlier so we were able to comfortably find our way to the station.

I learnt some valuable lessons

Getting it right early doesn’t guarantee future success

Just because I didn’t get lost in the morning, it wasn’t a guarantee that I couldn’t get lost later in the same day. We all know people who peaked early in their career and sometimes in their lives. They got things right early, with people expecting a lot from them; but then they appear to fizzle out.

Every mistake is a blessing

Every mistake is an opportunity to learn and grow. On the way back to the station, I was confident; but I reckon my colleagues had their earlier experiences at the back of their minds.

They decided to leave a bit earlier to not risk missing their trains and were more vigilant. Yes, they still took a risk of trying a different route but their past pain became a gain when they used their knowledge of their mistake to get things right.

Lessons from mistakes are stored for future use and advantage.

Don’t judge yourself based on individual accomplishments

I felt great that I didn’t lose my way in the morning. I felt ‘not so great’ when I saw how easily I could have been lost in the afternoon if I didn’t have my colleagues with me.

I realised the ‘fragility’ of moments or perhaps the ‘fragility of our responses’ to each moment. Am I more intelligent because I got it right earlier when they got it wrong? Are they more intelligent because they got it right later when I would have been lost?

Many times we judge ourselves harshly because we merely look at ‘individual’ moments of brilliance or stupidity in isolation.

I was reminded that we are not our mistakes and our mistakes should never define us; rather they should make us better.

Everyone is a Teacher

Imagine if I had recounted my story in the morning to an audience and my colleagues had done the same.

If the audience were then asked to select someone to lead them back to the station; guess who they would most likely have confidence in to lead them back? Most probably the person who got it right earlier.

Many times, we don’t give people a chance because we judge their past performance, don’t consider the lessons they would have learnt and we conclude that we can’t have confidence in their future abilities. (Disclaimer: sometimes it’s the right thing to do – e.g. in cases of abuse)

The best leaders are those who help you learn and immediately give you another opportunity to get things right after you’ve failed spectacularly.

Thanks for reading my post. Don’t forget to share it with others. See you next week.