Love The Rub

In my last post, I shared some thoughts on things that I am determined to do and be in this new year. From experience, I have learnt that when you make a promise, commitment or decision to change, your resolve will always be tested.

It is as though forces beyond you give you a chance to grow in the areas you have committed to grow in. And I believe this is a good thing as you are being helped to follow through. The only way to know if you will follow through is for you to be given many opportunities to do just that.

For gold or other precious gemstones to shine to their full potentials, they must be rubbed and polished.

If those things could talk, I bet they would get to points when they feel like telling the jeweller, ‘it’s enough already’ or ‘when will this be over, I’m tired of being rubbed and would just love to be left to shine on my own’.

We are like these jewellery pieces because we will be rubbed in different ways by different people at work, home, within families and communities we’re part of.

There’s the phrase, ‘rubbed the wrong way’ and that’s when people recognise that they don’t feel good after interactions with certain people.

We need to understand when someone is rubbing us the wrong way in a way that is destructive for us versus when their rubbing is actually helping to address areas of improvement in us.

This latter form of rubbing is needed for us to grow in the areas that we recognise and have identified that we need to be better in.

We will be rubbed everyday through constant interactions with others. Since we can’t avoid being rubbed, we have to become intentional and present so that we can better determine our responses.

I love the quote from Rumi which says, “If you are irritated by every rub, how will you be polished?”

This is such a powerful statement that helps to redefine how we see these rubs that are inevitable and unavoidable. Being polished is a good thing as it’s a requirement for any object or anyone to shine and stand out.

So here are a couple of actionable thoughts:

Focus on the why

Why are we being polished? It is for us to shine to the potential that is in us. When a piece of jewellery is shined and placed by the jeweller, that piece reflects the light in the most stunning way possible. Jewellers know when they have accomplished this and keep going until they do.

Each one of us is like that unique piece of jewellery; we are uniquely placed but for us to truly shine, the polishing has to continuously happen. Some polishing will force us to reconsider and make new choices.

When we redefine our relationship with ‘The Rub’ and see it as a necessary action for us to shine, then we become empowered to work with rather than against ‘The Rubs’

Define a strategy that works for you

This year, I have decided to associate some words and phrases I don’t like with actions I don’t want to take. For example, ‘it would be foolish to feed my body the wrong things’ and because I don’t want to be foolish, every time I am tempted to eat the wrong thing, I remind myself, “I am not foolish and I refuse to be”.

Sounds simple, but it works for me because it forces me to pause and reassess my choice in that moment. It stops being a decision about food; it becomes a different choice which is, ‘to be stupid or not to be stupid?’

The decision immediately becomes easier, the craving is revealed for what it is – just a craving and an opportunity to treat my body right.

I hope these two tips help you to make the most of your rubs. Thanks for reading and sharing my post.