Showing Up For The ‘One’

“I would like to think I am worth it” is a line from a movie that caught my attention. In the scene, a man was cooking for his friend and she commented about him having three pots on the stove and twenty ingredients just for two of them.

She asked if the man would have made the same effort if it was just him and he replied, ‘Yes; I would like to think I am worth it’.

The man then asked what she would do and she responded that she would have grabbed take-away food because she couldn’t really see herself going to such length ‘just’ for herself.

This struck a chord with me as so many of us are conditioned to show up or make an effort for others but not for ourselves and we find it easy when asked to show up for many but not always for the one.

I understand this too well and it is the struggle that many people face everyday. And the real question behind this struggle is, ‘do you see yourself as worth it?’ And are you willing to show up for the ‘one’ especially when that one is you?

Are you worthy of the investment in your health? I know people who would move everything to help a loved one access timely medical care but will dilly-dally when it comes to their own health because they are busy or watching their finances. Many times, it would take life-threatening situations to make them take notice of their own health.

When we make plans to exercise or go out for a walk with a friend, how many of us would go ahead with the plans if the friend had to cancel? What if they were plans to do something fun that we’ve wanted to do, are we more likely to cancel because others have?

Or are we the sort of people that will make a decision to still go ahead because it’s worth doing whether alone or with others? Are you worth the investment of your own time, effort, energy and money?

Some questions we should ask when struggling to make an effort for ourselves include: would I make this effort for anyone else? Would I make this effort for my partner, spouse, children, sibling, parent, friend or a religious or community leader?

Is it hard to prioritise myself? How do I see myself in relation to others? What is my worth in my own eyes and what do I deserve?

This is not an encouragement to be selfish or self-centred, as many people are already that. It is understanding that there is a reason why the airline employees tell you to put on your oxygen mask before helping any other person, even if that person is your child.

It is knowing that your usefulness has some dependencies. You can’t save anyone if you pass out, you can’t look after your family from a hospital bed and you can’t be available to anyone if you have a breakdown.

Showing up for you requires that you pay attention to your actions, thoughts and words. Don’t punish yourself for actions that you would give others a free pass for doing. Don’t struggle to forgive your own mistakes while offering others forgiveness.

Know when to be unapologetic about putting yourself first. The reality is life can and will always go on because someone else can do whatever it is that you thought had to be done by you.

Stop before you have a burn-out in your personal, public or professional life. And make an effort to cook, live, dream, laugh and have fun even when it is just for you, because you are also worth it.

If broken crayons still colour, ‘YOU’ will always be worthy of the effort, energy, expense, healing, forgiveness and love you see others as being worthy of. Don’t discard yourself.

Thanks for reading and sharing my post. Have an awesome week.