The Valentine Conversation

In the past few weeks, love or more like the looming Valentine’s Day celebration has been in the air. We’ve been bombarded by many adverts about flowers, cards, gifts and restaurants.

I have see video clips of people vilifying Valentine’s Day celebrations deeming it as not being right and describing it as a celebration that lends itself to negative or ‘ungodly’ behaviours.

As with many things that we judge, we judge without understanding. Some views are suggestive that only bad things can happen and come out of a day that’s been set aside to celebrate love.

Other videos have showcased the fact that people take advantage of that day by expecting outrageous gifts or plans that get their loved ones into debt. I saw a thought provoking video where a woman shared about her son’s attempted suicide calling out the vulnerability and risk factors around this time of year.

Pay Attention

Young people, and adults too, can get depressed if they are rejected by their love interests and some may perceive their ‘aloneness’ at this time as a negative thing. Others will be reminded of a deceased loved one, a failed relationship or a broken heart at this time.

What is our role as parents of young people who may not be in a relationship or even those in relationships? What is our role in educating ourselves and others about balance and handling societal and peer pressures?

What about those who are not yet in a relationship at this time? Do they feel the pressure to be in a relationship and how do they deal with the pressure? Pay attention and be there for someone having a difficult time.

Education is key

We need to understand the origin of the celebration to truly have an unbiased view. No matter which version of history we read, the one thing that they all have in common is that the day is named after a patron saint in celebration of love. All versions of the story showcase Saint Valentine as sympathetic, heroic and romantic.

A day to celebrate love is nothing in the scheme of things, as we should aim to celebrate love everyday that we are alive.

Celebration of love looks like caring for yourself and others, putting yourself in their shoes, treating people equally and fairly, not undermining people or stepping over them. For leaders, it looks like having the best interest of your followers and people at heart.

Celebrate your way

Celebrate Valentine’s Day in your way. Love has been reduced to debauchery and mere sex, hence the negative view that some people have about it. They think it is a day when people would be taken advantage of, and yes that might well happen. Your own self-worth matters at this time.

But it is also a day that some people get engaged, declaring their love and commitment. It is a day when many overcome their fears of rejection to reach out to someone they care about and it is a day when many people in committed relationships remind each other of their love.

The key thing is to celebrate love in your own way, not what you are told it should be. Celebrate love everyday with your loved ones including your friends, siblings and children.

‘Cut your coat according to your cloth’

This was a phrase I grew up with, which I am not sure is completely right as your size might mean your cloth isn’t enough in which case you would need to wait until you have enough.

The lesson is about bearing in mind what you can afford. Yes this is a time you would be encouraged to buy the diamond to pop the question. If you can’t afford it, buy what you can. If your love interest says no because you can’t immediately afford the diamonds, then they are probably not right for you.

We have a proverb in Nigeria that says, “You can’t be so afraid of the head that you place your cap on your ‘backside’’. This simply means knowing when to challenge a situation. So don’t overextend yourself or take someone to a place you can’t afford whist dreading the bill. As you celebrate love, honesty is key – honesty with yourself and with others.

As we are blessed with another year to commemorate and celebrate love, let’s all start the celebration by being grateful for life and love.

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone. Thanks for reading and sharing my post. Have a love-filled day, week, month, year and lifetime.