‘Normal’ Comes At A Price

It’s okay to be normal and it’s also okay to be different. Who defines and has the final word on normal anyway?

Yesterday, my son asked me to bake some muffins so I asked him for the flavour he wanted expecting that he would make the most of the opportunity to create a unique flavour.

He texted me back and said he just wanted normal – as in plain – nothing at all, not even vanilla. That made me smile. But as I made his batch, I wondered what to do with the rest of my batter. For someone who loves to play with flavours, I decided to make three other varieties.

I ended up with White chocolate and ground Ginger with chunks of crystallized Ginger, Dark chocolate and Lavender, and the final one was a Strawberries and Lavender Muffin. I was pleased with myself even as I thought of what else I could have done.

The question is, ‘which is better – my three flavours or my son’s normal’? This got me thinking. I didn’t try to persuade my son to think of a flavour because I know he’s smart enough to know what he wants and I am smart enough to respect his individuality.

We live in a world where people want to dictate what’s right for you based on what’s normal or right for them. They want your actions to be what they would have done even when they are not and haven’t walked in your shoes.

The media and many other industries dictate what we should eat, drink, wear, say and even think. People want to set your ‘normal’ values based on theirs regardless of whether you agree with them or not.

Beauty is defined for us, how to belong is articulated in a way that alienates others and you are also told who to vote for in not so many words. The sad reality is that their definitions of ‘right or normal’ keep shape-shifting to match their intended results.

So one day we are told this colour is what you must embrace to be normal, current, relevant or stylish and then later it’s a different one. What about each person’s favourite colours? Where and how does that factor in or doesn’t it?

In the same way, some foods and cultures are vilified and people are brainwashed about it and no one remembers to ask about the people who have been eating that food for hundreds or thousands of years with no problems. Funny enough the alternatives that we are offered in exchange for what is vilified often financially benefits others at a cost to the masses.

This scenario plays out at individual, industry and at global levels and we must fight back by remembering our authentic self, our history and applying a bit of critical thinking to the things we are told. Do you really need that new item to be happy or smell in that particular way to be attractive? Must you agree with everything that is suggested to you or do you deserve the right to question first and make up your mind without feeling there’s something wrong with you for daring to be your own ‘normal’.

Some of these messages are for financial or other gains while others are designed to send a message that you are not enough – what you look like isn’t enough, how you speak isn’t enough, your culture isn’t enough, how you dress isn’t enough, what you think isn’t enough, your beliefs aren’t enough, your intelligence isn’t enough, your voice isn’t enough and has no place in this world – unless you ………. In other words, you can’t be trusted or allowed to be your authentic self.

Guess what, each of us is enough; we can and must personally and professionally strive to be and do better as we grow but fundamentally who you are is more than enough. You are fearfully and wonderfully made and you’re a marvel of creation. Let this be your starting point.

From this point, educate yourself, challenge preconceived notions, allow yourself the ‘luxury’ of critical thinking, know yourself, don’t live in denial and don’t be afraid to be different to the point of standing alone. Remember that swimming with the tide or downstream isn’t always the right thing to do.

One way to fight back is to remember who you really are, not who you pretend to be to be accepted. Take time to rediscover your goals, dreams, passions, vision, purpose and your voice.

Let your confidence, peace, hope and joy come from within not from the outside attachments you are told to add to you. Don’t be afraid to be normal; remember, your normal is someone else’s different and vice versa.

Finally in closing, I want to share a quote by Ash Alves which says, “It takes courage to be yourself in a world where you are constantly told that who you are isn’t enough. Being yourself is the biggest gift you can offer yourself and others. Be brave enough to show the world who you are without an apology.”

Thanks for reading my post and sharing it with others. Have an awesome week.