Trust And Fear

Trust is a beautiful and powerful thing; and it is an antidote for fear. The word ‘Trust’ usually makes us think outwardly instead of inwardly. When we think of trust, we often project it on to others and end up focusing on whether we can trust someone else to do what we want or be who we expect them to be.

This isn’t the only way to look at trust; an alternative way is to see trust as being about ourselves. Today’s post isn’t about others; it’s about us. Can we trust ourselves to be fine regardless of what happens? Can we trust in our resilience and ability to bounce back?

I remember dealing with some fears years back – fear of the worst thing that can happen, fear of death, fear of terminal diseases, fear of heartbreak and the list goes on. I soon realised that it was up to me to get a hold of the irrational fears and deal with them. I needed to have a conversation with myself and face the fears.

So I went into my ‘Dr Pepper’ self talk which always makes me ask the question, ‘what is the worst that can happen?’ And I went through each of my fears, imagined the scenarios, considered the ‘what next’ for each of them, what my reactions and responses would and could be.

I then thought of people who had been through similar situations and how they got through them. I thought of the changes I would need to make, the struggles to get through and the ways to make lemonade out of the lemons.

I imagined the lessons, the consequent growth and how I would share the lessons. I decided that I would use any experiences to bring even more good into the world. By the end of my thought process and self talk, I concluded that although the road might be hard, it was up to me to write the story of what the end would be.

There was a time when the thought of losing my dad was an unfathomable one and I never allowed myself to think it would ever happen but when it happened in 2000, I realised my worst fear but twenty-two years later, my mum, my siblings and I are still standing and thriving. We have lived through one of our worst fears and what we never thought or wanted to happen and we are still here.

I am learning everyday that there is nothing to fear but fear itself. We don’t need to fear death because it is inevitable so all we can do is to live a life that means we have no regrets when it happens. We must take necessary precautions with our health but we can’t afford to live in fear for our health because the negative emotion is toxic for us.

I am not alone in facing my fears. We all do. Some people are afraid of being alone, others are afraid of getting their hearts broken and others fear being abandoned. Some fear for their old age.

The thing we must all realise is that being afraid doesn’t change what’s coming or what could happen as we are not in control of what the future could bring. We are in control of our fears and the things we can do to prepare for the future.

So let’s divert the energy from our fears and direct it towards being spiritually, physically, mentally and emotionally prepared. We can work on our resilience now to help us be better prepared. Don’t allow others to project their own fears on you and don’t allow anyone to threaten you to the point of being afraid.

I was speaking to a woman recently who is afraid of being alone as she’s getting older whilst at the same time shutting down relationships with her own family, friends, neighbours and church members. She told me she didn’t want to interact with the world since losing her husband to Covid two years ago consequently refusing to pick up the phone or answer her door.

I had to lovingly help her see how grief was now setting her up for a lonely old age because eventually people might give up and stop trying to reach out to her. Sadly she doesn’t trust herself to live life or maintain relationships without her late husband.

As I conclude this post, I am reminded of the quote that says, “A bird sitting in a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because her trust is not in the branch but in her wings.” Unknown.

What fears do you have? Think back to the things you have been through and survived and see that the ability to survive what life brings is in you. The resilience you need is in you but you need to build it with each experience you go through. We will not be allowed to go through more than we can bear and you can bear more than you realise.

It is time we break the hold that fear has over us. It’s time for us to embrace live to its fullest and thrive. It’s time to leverage each day and trust OURSELVES because we are fearfully and wonderfully made.

Thanks for reading, please share the post with others and have a great week.