The Place Of Quietness

In the noisy world that we live in, the place of quietness is often underrated. Many people are wired to think aloud and they talk as they process information. It is challenging helping them to realise that their way of processing information can be a deterrent to someone else who is wired differently.

I can’t function in chaos, noise or mess. As a writer, I need space and time to think and sadly people don’t understand that this isn’t me being fussy, difficult or uncooperative. It’s not me being unfriendly or unsociable; I am just not wired as they are.

Simply put, I need quietness to thrive and accomplish my goals. I don’t need to apologise for wanting the space that is critical to my productivity or be made to feel bad about it. It is the only way I can settle down to create or work on my ideas.

Having a preference for introversion also means certain scenarios drain me of energy and the need to put on an act to be other than I am is often overwhelming. In a world full of noise and intrusion with information pushed at us non-stop, we have to take ownership of our mental, emotional, physical and psychological wellbeing.

The most important thing that I often need is space, time and quietness. Many times people think they are being helpful when projecting their own ways of working or thinking on to me.

The place of boundary is important as one has to learn to say ‘No’ even if that makes it easy for you to be labelled or seen in a negative light.

I can juggle many things and still be productive only when I’m allowed to truly leverage the power of my mind to process information rather than clutter. As an experienced project manager, my mind arranges my tasks in order for them to all get done in the time that I have. A simple interruption can consequently lead to me forgetting tasks that were previously in hand.

For me clutter is asking me about next week’s plans or task when I have more immediate and pressing things that are due today. Clutter is a messy dining table, workspace or untidy room. Clutter is unwanted noise in the background such as TV, or even people hovering when I am busy.

When I am busy, I don’t need company or interruption. I would prefer to be left a note than be interrupted. I don’t look for detailed information until I need it and I don’t want more information than is needed to make a decision. Small talks are a time waster and I would much rather solve a problem than make small talks.

For many years, I tried to be some of the things that I am not, or attend events that completely drain me and sometimes wished I was that person who seemed to take noise and clutter in their strides. I was sometimes apologetic for not being them.

Reading the book, ‘Quiet’ by Susan Cain was a game changer for me. It helped me to realise the placed and power of ‘Quietness’, that having a preference for introversion isn’t A DISEASE or an ANOMALY. Just because I have a preference for quietness doesn’t mean I am not capable, or can’t be sociable or even be a public speaker.

I am very capable, can be sociable to the point where others conclude that I must be extroverted and can hold my own on any stage with my level of nervousness not more than what any other person would experience at the thought of speaking publicly.

Over the years I have worked hard to make sure my preference for introversion would not be a hindrance to who I am meant to be or all the things I am meant to do. It’s a preference, not an excuse that stops me from going after my dreams.

Having conquered my self-limiting beliefs about introversion, I realise I still have to conquer the beliefs that others will attempt to project on to me because I don’t fit their mould for me.

The good thing is I am not alone; there are millions of others just like me and we simply want to be allowed and supported to be ourselves as that’s the only way to get the best out of us. People are at their best when they are fully themselves and not trying to be someone else.

In conclusion, my question is who are you? What are your preferences and the preferences of those around you? Do you have a tendency for bias towards those whose preferences differ from yours? Do you take time to study others and respond as needed? Do you know how to negotiate your own boundaries and respect other people’s boundaries. Do you judge people who are different or make them feel bad for non-compliance to your expectations?

The answers to these questions are foods for thought and hopefully reasons for corrective actions for all of us. Thanks for reading my post. Have a great week.