Proud To Be Me

October is Black History Month and I am reminded of this everywhere I look. It is so easy to forget history and unless you remember your history, it can and will be re-written for you. That is the danger we all face.

Any one of us can remember our childhood memories incorrectly as time passes and we often need others to fill in the gaps for us. As it is on a personal level, so it is on a global level. The history of millions of people can be erased or rewritten and when the new versions of their stories are told enough times, even lies become the new versions of the truth. A whole generation of people grow up on only the lies.

That is why Black history and all other histories matter. We can’t deny some of the pains of our forefathers, but it’s no excuse to not move forward with our own struggles. Past generations faced their own struggles and current generations face theirs too. We owe how we live today to those who fought valiantly during their own times so we must fight our battles so future generations can have it better than we do today.

For me Black history month is a reminder of who I am and where I come from going back many generations. It is a reminder to me that no one can define me or put me in a box unless I go along with their charade. It is a reminder to not stay silent in the face of hypocrisy and lies.

Recently, I was in my kitchen and thinking about Nigeria celebrating its independence and a thought went through my mind which was, ‘I am proud to be a Nigerian’. It wasn’t because I had watched or seen anything on TV or social media. It’s not because Nigeria is flawless or without its own struggles. The thought simply came to me like a wave from the sea and I weighed this thought.

Why am I proud to be a Nigerian? Especially when there are many other Nigerians intent on destroying our reputation because of their greed, ignorance, stupidity and selfishness. If I stop being proud of my nation, that’s like giving them a pass to write my narrative when it’s not theirs to write.

Every nation has people or groups of people they are not proud of and whose actions don’t reflect the beliefs and behaviours of the wider society. I don’t expect other people or nations to give up their national pride because of these unscrupulous elements, so why should I expect that of myself?

Pride in one’s culture, upbringing or community then becomes simply a matter of choice. Denying one’s heritage doesn’t change who one is; it simply makes a mockery of the choices the person is making.

There are many facets to each of us – including our heritage, upbringing, personal beliefs, preferences, faith, careers, past experiences and the list goes on. We must refuse to be defined by any one of these facet as we are defined by all of them; the one decision we need to make is to shape our future for good by leveraging everything that we are to create a better future and world for us and others.

So for me Black history month isn’t about current or new grudges about past events; it’s about understanding our past so we can take the best parts of who we are into our future.

I am proud to be me in all the dimensions of who ‘me’ is. This includes me being a Nigerian, a woman, a mother, nurturer, encourager, lover of people and God, a working parent, writer, speaker and foodie. It is me being proud of my shade of black and the Afro hair that’s all mine and the wrinkles that will no doubt increase as I get older. The only person who can make me ashamed of being me is me; no one else has that power unless I give my power over to them.

As we celebrate black history month, it’s my encouragement that we would critique our own self-talks and any limiting beliefs that we have held on to. We need to face all the fears that we have and fight the battles that are ahead of us whilst holding our heads high.

We need to celebrate our history, past and families without denying them. We need to learn from our past but leverage the lessons to challenge and enrich our futures.

As the proverb says, ‘there is nothing new under the sun’ and when I reflect on our fore parent’s way, I realise we are not too different from them, we merely live in different times that call for different and newer approaches. This thinking has helped me to appreciate how things were done and even how faith worked in the times before mine.

It all results in a proud me and I hope as you reflect in the totality of who you are, you will find many reasons to be proud too. Thanks for reading and sharing the post.