Step by step, Day by day

Any one who knows me well enough will know that I compartmentalise elements of my life and I don’t want to be pestered about what’s not in my day’s priorities. I live by the principle of, ‘one day at a time’ and this doesn’t mean I don’t have long term goals or plans.

For me, living one day at a time means knowing exactly what needs to be pulled into each day based on my longer term plans and leaving tomorrow’s worries, stress and anxieties where it belongs – tomorrow. Whatever needs to be on my plate for the day is planned for and gets done; if I finish it earlier than expected, then I might think of the future and bring a task forward.

What I don’t do is bring tomorrow’s hassles forward when today’s are still hanging over my head. The foundation for stress and unmanaged anxieties is not knowing where to draw the line and allowing everything to be heaped on your head at the same time.

As they say, Rome wasn’t built in a day, but we are surrounded with people with their own priorities, needs, goals and desires which can sometimes clash with ours. Everyone wants to focus on number ‘One’ so people may want to pressure you into making what they need from you a priority with little to no regards for you as a person or for your own plans, goals and priorities.

Some people are simply curious about your plans so they want to force conversations that you are not ready for to happen today. We have to know when to tell people we haven’t thought through the entire journey and ask for time to do this before continuing the conversation.

At other times, we are the ones putting pressures on ourselves without following the due process of critically assessing what is on our plates, completing prioritisation exercises and how we are going to accomplish them.

Sometimes we put pressures on ourselves because we are trying to run someone else’s race. In Nigeria, there is a proverb that translates to, ‘we don’t look at and work by someone else’s clock’. What this means is that you don’t try to match someone else’s rhythm because we are all different. Some people can work at a pace that will cause others to burn out, others appear to work at much slower paces but somehow get things done.

During my university days, there were students that others considered to be slackers but when exams came, they passed with flying colours; others appeared to live in the lecture theatres and yet struggled. Watching either group to create your own plan and pace of studying is foolhardy.

By observing the slackers, I noticed that some of them socialised early evening but once most students went to sleep, they studied during the night so they had an appearance of being slackers but weren’t. I noticed some people’s ability to retain information whilst others held discussion groups in the privacy of their dorm rooms.

And many who spent hours in the lecture rooms were easily distracted, they glanced at everyone that passed, welcomed frequent conversations, monitored the equivalents of ‘social media’ or read magazines. So whilst a regular observer would clock that they had been in the study hall for six hours, a keener observer would pay attention to their productivity and know not to use them as a yardstick for determining their day or even their next step.

I saw naïve friends of ‘perceived slackers’ fail and have to repeat the year because they matched their ‘slackness’ without an understanding of their abilities, learning and study styles.

Again we see friends of young celebrities and musicians hanging around them relaxing and matching their schedule. They forget that when it’s time to be in the studio, the musician could be there all day and night for weeks and when the recording is done and the album is being produced, they could be found partying and relaxing. A friend, who is in a different line of work would be daft if they tried to match their downtime.

Some people by virtue of what they do make money even when they are sleeping, on holidays or having fun, others only make money when they are physically present in their places of work; this two groups of people should never work to the same rhythm. You might be matching a friend’s social events calendars or following someone to every event they are invited to as a guest of honour or speaker without a thought for yourself and your own journey. Unless you are paid as someone’s Personal Assistant or their business partner, watch how their schedules hinder or support you

My question for you today is, ‘what does step by step and day by day look like for you?’ Who and what is influencing your answer to this question? Who is shaping your days and informing your next step? Can you see yourself in any of the scenarios that I painted? What do you need to do to achieve the outcomes you want?

Thanks for reading and sharing my post. Have a great week. If you missed my Food Stories this week, here is a link https://thestrayferret.co.uk/yemis-food-stories-a-royal-quiche-affair/