Take Charge

When I talk to people, I am amazed by how many give their power away for the most basic things including management of their time. Someone recently told me they wanted to rest but hope they would be allowed to get some rest as friends and neighbours can pop in to see them. I asked them why they would hope for rest rather than plan for rest.

Another similar conversation was about other people calling the shots on an event that wasn’t theirs. I can see why people feel overwhelmed and out of control allowing others to take charge of things that could impact them mentally, physically, emotionally and psychologically.

A third conversation was with someone who felt they were too busy for their annual medical check-up even though their diary belongs to them even if managed by their PA’s. It boils down to what really matters to us and the value we place on ourselves versus pleasing others and working to people’s agendas which may not be in our best interests.

If you feel the need to rest, why leave it to others to allow you the space and time to do so? Why not create the environment and atmosphere to make this happen? Why not make the required decisions to support your mental and physical wellbeing. Surely you can put your phone on airport mode, leave an out of office message, lock your doors, rearrange your plans or just flat out tell people you need time and you are taking time to rest. Why leave it to them to cooperate with you?

In the same manner, there are people who know they need to change their work-life balances for their wellbeing but will refuse to do this, others know they need to take a break from social media but don’t while some may need to go out more for some fresh air, or meet up with friends and they put this off blaming it on their busyness.

It’s not always about what people want from you; it also needs to be about what you can afford to give. You are the only person who knows how much is being asked of you from all angles. Others only know what they are asking and so it’s easy for them to think, ‘it’s only an hour’ or ‘it’s only a certain amount of money or help’.

Fortunately you are blessed with information or data that should help you to make decisions that serve others without being a casualty to their demands. You have the full picture of what all the demands add up to, how much of your week will be spent in meetings, on the road or on the job which means you know what else you can fit in.

Emotionally, you know how full your tank is at any given moment; you understand problems you are mentally solving, activities weighing on your mind and any challenges you are pondering on which means you know when to draw the line or tell people you would get back to them on another issue they want to add to the mix.

We are not as powerless as we think when it comes to finding balance in our lives, juggling several roles or spinning many plates. Determine the ones you want or need to spin and lay the rest down for another time which might be more suitable.

Take charge of your physical health and this might mean going ahead with your plans when your gym buddies pull out at the last minute. Taking charge can look like you changing your diary or cancelling some events or plans and sometimes it can simply be taking a day out to be by yourself to rejuvenate.

Don’t wait until your body forces you into a shut down mode and then play the victim that it’s all the outside pressures that has led to your breakdown. If you let that happen, you would have led to your own breakdown. So take charge by taking ownership.

I love the quote by Jana Kingsford which says “Balance is not something you find, it’s something you create.” You are in the driving seat of finding and creating balance in your life and for making decisions that serve your whole wellbeing.

Yes there’s only one life to live which makes it all the more valuable and something that we can’t afford to waste in the name of being polite to our own detriment. Make space for others, your careers, friendships, work colleagues and family but never make this happen at your own expense.

Making space for yourself at the right times allows you to make more meaningful spaces available to others and to the causes that matter to you.

Thanks for reading my post and here’s to a week when we take proactive steps to take charge and get some balance back.