Overcoming Fear: Embracing Risks and Unlocking Your Full Potential

Fear is a word that has a bad reputation and the description of fear as a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain whether the threat is real or imagined doesn’t help.

Everyone is afraid of something; for those who say they aren’t, it’s either they are lying without knowing they are or they are in denial. We can all have hope that helps us to manage our fears but those fears are real and we need to pay attention to how we respond to them and the impacts we allow the fears to have.

We need an element of fear to stay safe as it helps us to gauge risks and respond appropriately. I was listening to a radio programme discussing phobias and people acknowledged that they were smart enough to know their phobias were irrational and illogical but that knowledge didn’t change how they felt and their reactions to a fear that paralysed them.

We can sense fear and panic from others; this is easily seen in situations of mass hysteria and explains why people break into a run from sensing the fear from others without knowing the reason for the fear.

Fear can be passed down to the next generation through the stories we tell and the reactions that we observe. Fears of people that look differently to us can be passed down; a child reaches out to anyone that looks friendly but the same child can be taught to fear the same people if those around them react in fear. Ultimately fear comes with experience and is transmitted and enhanced through knowledge.

Love is the antidote for fear. As the Bible passage says, “perfect love casts out all fear.” Science has also proven this as Oxytocin, the chemical released when in love is used to manage conditions that have resulted from traumatic situations.

Fear can mess with your perception of your reality. As a young child, I remember being afraid of the dark and feeling like there was a monster under the bed that would make me terrified of falling asleep. Initially I ran into my parent’s bedroom and they would reassure me or let me sleep with them which made me feel safe and protected.

There were only two solutions to the issue – having a place of safety and protection from the monsters, aka sleeping with my parents or believing there were no monsters so there was nothing to fear and no basis for the fear. To help me with the later and more permanent solution, every time the irrational fear came up, I would turn on the light and confirm there was nothing hiding under the beds. This bought me peace of mind for a few minutes and I repeated the process. With time, I could remind myself there wasn’t a monster when I last checked so I turned on the light less frequently until I didn’t need to anymore.

As an adult, some of this fear came back when we had a break in. Although they didn’t get away with anything, for a few days after the event, I struggled with the fear that an intruder could still be in the house and I kept expecting to see someone pop out. Again, I checked everywhere and reassured myself there were no intruders in the house reminding myself of the additional preventive measures we had put in place.

Fear can lock up our potentials and that is when it poses a real threat to our future. Decades ago, the fear of public speaking terrified me and had I not been forced to face that fear, I would not be the person that I am today. Overcoming the fear and gaining the confidence to speak in public has opened many doors for me and I smile when people talk about how effortless it is for me.

Confronting your fears and embracing measured risks can help you overcome them.

Dismissing, denying or ignoring your fears will hold you back and limit the options available to you. There are people who love sales and have a good head for business but they are held back by fear of speaking to people about their products. As I go to different events, I can tell those who are scared of giving a sales pitch or engaging customers from a distance. In some cases, they are employed or they are the business owners but the level of discomfort they display impedes their success.

To unlock your full potentials, here are some pointers:

Identify your fears

Figure out your fears and spell them all out – small or big. Acknowledge them and create a plan to work through each one of them. Face your fears by taking one step at a time; seek out a counsellor or expert if you need one. Share your fears with others as the right people can help you to put them into perspective or confirm that you are not alone.

Embrace risks

Life is full of risks so we can’t avoid risky situations, business dealings, relationships or decisions, but what we can do is to embrace the process of weighing risks and learning to take calculated risks until we get more comfortable. Practice your pitch in front of a mirror, then in front of people that care about you before you give it to the wider public. Find a friendly face in the audience that makes you feel safe and appreciated; your fears go down as you find more of them.

Deal with the root of your fears and phobias

There is usually a trigger for our fears, it could be that someone scared us as a child or told us bad stories, it could be that a venture we got into failed and left behind the bad memories. It could be the fear of something failing like a roller coaster or the fear of losing face if you sing karaoke.

Knowing the root helps you to analyse the ‘so what’, understand the potential points of failures which then helps you to put mitigating actions in place.

Gain knowledge and experience

Painful experiences, wrong knowledge and misinformation are often at the root of many fears so we must counter them with the opposite. I was afraid of being left in a car with its engine running until I knew how to drive. My irrational fear that the vehicle could suddenly lose control is now countered by the knowledge that I know how to stop a car or turn of its engine. Learning about what we are afraid of can help us to embrace them and overcome our fears.

Venture out

Take a small step but start now. Leave your safe zone or at least start to expand it.

Thanks for reading my post; please share it with others and see you next week.