Reshaping Failure: Viewing Setbacks as Stepping Stones

As a Nigerian who grew up in a culture where high expectations were the norm from parents, neighbours and entire communities, ‘Failure’ was a word you wished wasn’t in the dictionary. The fear of failure or failing was a real thing and I am sure it is still real for many today.

Some people’s response to anything that looks like failure sounds like, ‘God forbid’ and ‘not my portion’. We act as though failure at a point in time is the end of one’s life or journey towards success.

As I was writing this, I was distracted or perhaps led to open Instagram and the first post that popped up was the response from Giannis Antetokounmpo to a reporter who asked whether he viewed the season as a failure. The frustration from Giannis was palpable because the reporter had asked him the same question two years in a row.

In his response he said each season is a step towards success. ‘Michael Jordan played in the championships for 15 years and won 6 times, were the remaining 9 years a failure or steps towards success?’ he asked. We don’t get a promotion every year so who amongst us deems the years we don’t get a promotion as failures?

Here is a link to watch this interview. https://www.instagram.com/reel/C6_fzQhyTJ7/?igsh=MXVydzVuM2l1eWpuag==

Today, let’s talk about a topic that resonates deeply with many of us: Failure. We’ve all faced it at some point, and while it often feels like a dead-end, I believe it can be a stepping stone to success if we reshape our perspective.

“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.” — Henry Ford

I remember my first big failure vividly. It was an exam that I had to resit for my favourite subject which I found effortless to understand. During the exam, I left the simpler questions because I wanted to challenge myself and answer the tougher questions. I forgot the goal of the examination was to pass and it wasn’t a time to challenge myself or flex my muscles. After failing, I learnt the lesson to never lose sight of the main issue at stake at any point in time.

For a year, I wallowed in regret, convinced that this failure was a reflection of my abilities. But then, something clicked. I realised that instead of seeing this experience as a setback, I could use it as a learning opportunity. I repeated the year to get the grades I needed for university, made new friends that I am still in touch with today and met amazing mentors along the way.

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts.” — Winston Churchill

Failure teaches resilience. It’s in these moments of despair that we find our true strength. Shortly after my father retired, he had an idea to sell hand crafted knives from my mum’s shop. He commissioned a craftsman to make the knives and brought them to the shop and most of them remained unsold for years.

I remember my mum asking who was going to buy the knives. The reality was that no one would think to come to her shop to buy a knife as it didn’t match the rest of her wares. If anyone needed a knife, they would go to shops dedicated to knives as it wouldn’t have occurred to them that she might have it in stock. Every morning my dad would faithfully display his knives to minimal sales; even those who were interested felt it was priced higher than the commercially manufactured versions forgetting the skills and craftsmanship it took to have handcrafted knives. The level of interests did not match the sales.

That remains one of my top lessons in running a business, thinking about the business model, understanding customer behaviour, doing market research, leveraging synergies and the list goes on. We all learnt from this mistake and used the lessons to challenge future business ideas.

As Henry Ford said, “The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.”

So, how can we reshape our view of failure? Here are a few steps:

Embrace the experience

Acknowledge your emotions but don’t dwell on them. It’s okay to feel disappointed but use that energy to fuel your comeback. Don’t be held back by your experience, don’t allow it to stop you from taking future risks and refuse to be permanently scarred.

Analyse and learn

Look at what went wrong objectively. What can you learn from the experience? There are always lessons to be learnt in whatever we go through so make the experience worth its weight in gold by leveraging the lessons to become better, stronger and wiser.

How can you improve?

Seek feedback

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Sometimes, an outside perspective can offer invaluable insights. Have trusted people in your inner circuit who won’t sugar-coat things for you. Feedback helps us to grow so reflect on them even when they are tough to hear.

Persevere

Remember, every successful person has faced failure. It’s those who persevere through the tough times that ultimately achieve greatness.

Call to Action

Next time you face a setback, try to see it not as a failure, but as a stepping stone. Share your stories of overcoming failure in the comments below. Let’s support each other and grow together as a community. Remember, we’re all on this journey together, and each failure brings us one step closer to success.

Keep pushing forward, stay positive, and always remember failure is not the end, but the beginning of something greater. Thanks for reading and sharing my post; please subscribe to promptly get it via your inbox.