Peace on Earth: Navigating Family Conflicts with Grace

As we countdown to nativities, Christmas stories, Pantomimes, school plays and carol services, there is a good chance that you will hear the phrase, “Peace on Earth” several times between now and the year but what does this look like in day to day life?

The festive season is meant to be a time of joy and togetherness, but for many, it also brings the challenge of navigating family conflicts. From unresolved disagreements to personality clashes, family gatherings can stir up tensions that have simmered all year long. The question is: how do we respond?

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God.” — Matthew 5:9

This isn’t about ignoring the tensions or brushing problems under the rug. It’s about learning to approach conflicts with grace, choosing understanding over resentment and peace over winning. There is no end to the issues that divide us from Global crisis, political affiliations to climate changes; we are bound to encounter people with different opinions to the point where many can’t have a civil conversation around the dinner table.

Choosing Grace Over Conflict

Grace isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a mark of strength. It’s the ability to meet frustration with patience, to choose kindness when hurt feels justified, and to put connection above ego.

When faced with family conflict, remind yourself: your relationship is more important than being right. Focus on what truly matters. We often forget to ask, ‘who is shaking the jar and creating the chaos that is dividing us?’ Who benefits and who loses when we don’t extend grace to each other? One of my mantras is that life is too short to let ‘non-sense’ dominate my life and relationships.

Knowing that we can’t avoid conflict, what can we do? Here are some Practical Tips for Managing Conflict

Set Boundaries Ahead of Time:

If you know certain topics tend to spark arguments, set ground rules beforehand. For example, agree as a family to avoid divisive topics during the holiday meal. I have friends that I intentionally would never discuss certain topics with because there is no meeting them half-way or agreeing with their viewpoints but they are friends nonetheless.

Seek to Understand:

People often argue because they feel unheard. Take a moment to genuinely listen to what the other person is saying. You might find that what they need most is acknowledgment. We must always seek first to understand before demanding we be understood. We may never agree but we can at least see where people are coming from and appreciate a different perspective.

Don’t Escalate:

When tensions rise, respond calmly. As the saying goes, “A soft answer turns away wrath.” Take a deep breath, and resist the urge to argue back. There is nothing to gain from escalating a situation and if you refuse a bait, there’s nothing to see. No one successfully fights themselves so if one party refuses the bait, the baiter’s negative energy will eventually fizzle out.

Walk Away if Necessary:

If a conflict feels too heated, it’s okay to excuse yourself. A brief walk or a moment alone can help you regain perspective. I love the analogy where a set of matches arranged next to each other was lit from one end with the fire catching on to the next. All it took to stop the whole set from being burnt was to remove the next one in line; it turns out that introducing some space between them is all that is needed to stop the ’fire’ being passed on

Focusing on the Bigger Picture

Remember that the festive season is a time to celebrate family and love. While conflicts may arise, they don’t have to define your time together. By prioritising peace, you can create an atmosphere where everyone feels safe and valued.

This holiday season, commit to being a peacemaker. When conflicts arise, choose grace over anger. It’s not always easy, but the gift of peace is one that will benefit your entire family.

Rebuilding Bridges: Using the Festive Season to Heal Relationships

Thanksgiving and Christmas often bring people together, offering unique opportunities to heal fractured relationships. Whether it’s a friend you’ve grown distant from or a family member with whom you’ve had disagreements, the festive season is a time for reconciliation.

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” — Mark Twain

Healing relationships requires vulnerability, humility, and courage. It may feel uncomfortable, but the rewards of restored connection far outweigh the effort. If you are dreading seeing some people because your relationship broke down, here are some steps to Rebuild Bridges.

Reflect First

Before reaching out, take time to reflect on what caused the rift. Consider your role and what you might have done differently. Acknowledge these insights when you reconnect. Resist the urge to be defensive when they share their minds.

Reach Out

Sometimes, the first step is as simple as a message or a phone call. Let the person know you’re thinking of them and value your relationship.

Apologise Where Needed

If you’ve contributed to the conflict, offer a sincere apology. Focus on taking responsibility rather than defending your actions.

Be Patient

Healing takes time. The person may not be ready to rebuild immediately, and that’s okay. Keep showing your willingness to reconnect.

The Power of Forgiveness

Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing the hurt. It means choosing to let go of resentment for your own peace. By forgiving, you free yourself to move forward.

Think of someone you’ve lost touch with or had a falling-out with. This Christmas, take a step toward healing that relationship. Whether it’s a small gesture or a heartfelt conversation, you have the power to rebuild.

Thanks for reading and sharing my post. Don’t let what can become the stress of the season get the best of you.