The Purposeful Life Project

In Disney’s Snow White story, the beautiful and wicked queen would ask the mirror who was the most beautiful and was told that she was. That was until the day that she wasn’t. This changed the course of her life and made Snow White the target of her hatred. There are many lessons for us to learn from this. Sadly many of us desperately seek validation from ‘mirrors’ aka other people. Although this temporarily massages our egos, it can only go so far. People get tired of playing the role of ego massagers or they tell us what we want to hear but we still don’t believe them so it’s of no effect. This week, my question to you is, ‘how do you see yourself?’ What do you see when you look in the mirror? Who do you see? Or are you too afraid to even look? We have to learn to love, value and appreciate who we are. It’s easier to do this with others. We pay people compliments and yet struggle to accept one in return. We encourage others after they make a mistake and refuse to give ourselves a break for our own. One of the commandments in the Bible says, ‘love your neighbour as yourself’. Regardless of your beliefs, we can take a leaf from that instruction. Simply put it means we must learn to love ourselves to truly love others. So back to my question, do you see yourself as worthless, powerless, weak, pitiful, inadequate or unworthy? Or do you see yourself as the result of a master stroke of genius, someone who is made up of parts that are lovingly crafted together? Do you see the potentials that are on the inside of you? Do you realise you’re strong and powerful beyond measure? No one is worthless or inadequate unless they believe the lies that they are. These lies can come from life experiences, bad relationships, wrong mindsets, wrong actions and thought patterns. The important thing to remember is that lies only become your truths when you agree with them. There are many stories when people have done unimaginable feats when faced with situations that demanded an uncommon or super-human response. People single-handedly lifted cars off victims or ran into burning buildings to save loved ones. They surpass their expectations of themselves. So what can we do when we don’t like who’s in the mirror? I’m no expert but there are times I've wished I was more capable, more outgoing or more artistic. I believe we can learn from each other and share tips and thoughts that can help us. So here are my thoughts: Stop seeking external validation Not everyone will tell us what we want to hear or see us as we truly are. When you look for validation from others, there’s a good chance that you will eventually be disappointed. You need to believe in yourself before others can or will. So rather than look for external validation, take time to search yourself, face your doubts and address each of them. Have a lens change Stop defining yourself through the wrong lens of your past circumstances, family history, failures or disappointments. We can learn from everything we’ve been through and not be defined by them. Stop acting from a place of fear Accept or work on your limitations, take actions to close any knowledge gaps, prepare for work and life so you don’t feel overwhelmed. 

Last week, I wrote about what I am thankful for. I want to conclude this week by covering the ‘Who’. Who am I thankful for? Like many of you, I am thankful for family, friends and colleagues but there are always people who stand out in our stories. My Father The first person who stands out for me is my father. I am thankful that he believed in me and set before me a vision that showed me anything is possible if I’m willing to work for it. Two of the first books he bought for my brother and I were ‘The Power Of Positive Thinking’ and ‘A Guide To Confident Living’ by Norman Vincent Peale. I flipped through the pages wondering where the pictures were. I was at an age when all my books were meant to have pictures in them. Thinking the words were too many, I looked at the titles again. I told myself, it must be important to think positively and to be confident, otherwise daddy wouldn’t have bought ‘the books with no pictures’. This was the start of my journey into personal development and recognising the responsibility that comes with that. A wolf in sheep's clothing I am thankful for a co-tenant when I was a young child for teaching me to listen to my inner voice and trust my intuition. As a young child, I was scared of the dark and always imagined monsters hiding under the beds. I often snuck into bed with my parents.   One day my parents travelled and left us in the care of a co-tenant who was like family. As I was scared of sleeping alone, I stayed with him. After a while, I felt very uneasy and I just knew I wasn’t safe. I realised I was more scared of being with him than I was of the monsters. So I left. He taught me the power of my intuition, the importance of listening to my inner voice and recognising when a hand bigger than I understood was delivering me from evil. My intuition has bailed me out more times than I can count and that protection from above has been my life saver. My Science Teacher I am thankful for Mr M.S. Ali who taught me for one year. Until he came to my school, I had believed the lie that I wasn’t cut out for sciences and had no hope of passing them. M. S. Ali came, saw that I had the potential to be good in Sciences and he made it his mission to help me. The most important thing he did was to challenge how I saw myself in relation to those subjects and the mental block I had put up. Over time, I realised that I could grasp contents that previously seemed like Ancient Greek. In one year, this amazing teacher helped me to turn around my grades. I have never forgotten the impact he had on my life and the lesson he taught me. He taught me that ‘can’t learn’ was my fear and did not have to be my reality.