Monica at Macy’s
Everyday, life presents us with momentous opportunities but it’s up to us to recognise and take advantage of them. This week’s post is inspired by a lady I met on a recent trip to New York – Monica.
We were shopping at Macy’s and after a while we decided to find somewhere to have a rest. My husband and I found a free space and sat next to the most unassuming lady and greeted her.
We hit it off and she was instantly taken with us and particularly with me. Within moments, I found out she had lived in London for nine years and loved it. She lived with a friend from the Philippines and she was quite complimentary about her.
Due to this friendship, she visited the Philippines seven times and ended up supporting the local causes that her friend supported. In her own way, through a simple connection with a ‘class act’ friend, Monica impacted a world outside of hers. 
She said she was a good judge of character and was certain I was also a ‘class act’. She wished I lived in New York as she would have loved to take me places and be my friend.
I found Monica engaging, refreshing, appreciative, kind and just an ‘all rounder good’ human being. I don’t use the word ‘good’ lightly. Her honesty was refreshing.
I learnt about how adventurous she was and how much she celebrated life by the kinds of things she did, the music she listened to, the friends she had, the places she visited and how she spent her spare time.
I told Monica about one of our boys who was a chorister. She lit up and told us some ‘choir’ jokes.
I learnt there is ‘no democracy’ when you are part of a choir. You simply do as you are told by the conductor. It was a lesson about team working, leadership, vision and working towards a common goal.
I found out she used to work at Harrods in London and then JP Morgan in New York. Monica was proud of her accomplishments which told me a lot about her. 
When our boys came round, she connected with them. The icing on the cake was when she told my boys they had exceptional people as parents.
It took a stranger to remind them they are blessed and fortunate.
In a few moments, she was able to show them parenting was on sliding scale of good to bad. She experienced some bad with some good. She got our boys to see they were on the positive end of that spectrum.
A legacy that matters
In the past couple of weeks, I have attended events including a friend’s 50th birthday celebration, silver wedding anniversary and a 70th birthday party. I am also saddened by recent deaths of beloved friends’ parents. Some deaths were a total shock
A purposeful habit
I started my day by revisiting a habit that I had neglected – journaling. I have written in my journal on and off for some time. Recently I picked up my journal and realised it had been a few months since my last entry.
What happened? I had been busy and so, I stopped doing something that I found very useful. I need to change this.
Recently, I heard that it takes over sixty days to form a new habit which contradicts previous claims of twenty-one days.
This has got me thinking about habits that I need to re-introduce if I’m to achieve my goal of being a more purposeful me.
The first habit I want to take up again is focussing my journal on gratitude. Life often comes with challenges. If we are not careful, we end up only seeing the challenges and soon lose sight of the blessings.
Having a daily habit that focuses on the right things and the blessings of life will give us some perspective and help us to be more appreciative.
My plan this morning was to write ten things I was grateful for but the more I wrote, the more I had to write. Three pages on, I went over my notes and counted thirty-two things I was grateful for. As I finished my journal entry, I added a couple more things I was grateful for.
These were thirty-four things I had not thought about as I was preoccupied with a recent break in at my house. I thought of the invasion of my privacy, the destruction of the door and the unexpected money that we needed to spend doing the repairs.
As I meditated on gratitude today, I was grateful that nothing was taken, no one was hurt or traumatised and we are able to make the necessary changes. By focusing on what I was grateful for, I soon realised the blessings far outweigh the recent upsets.
On my journey to becoming a more purposeful me, I am bound to encounter some challenges and setbacks and there’s a risk of me losing sight of the bigger picture.
To keep me focused, I have decided to form a new habit of gratitude 'journal-ling'. My plan is to start each day with twenty minutes of journalling focused purely on what I’m grateful for. I’m committing to this for the next seventy days and by the end of this, I’m expecting this to become second nature.
I don’t know where you are in life, the current challenges you’re facing or the goals that you have. What I do know is that having an attitude of gratitude will help you to positively and better navigate life.
Instead of complaining about your job, children, boss or neighbour be grateful. Be grateful that you’re not alone, for food on your table and that you can get to work without any help. Be grateful for getting to work late because of an accident; remember someone was in that accident and lives might have been lost.
Vision – making your dream a reality
I was at a friend’s 50th birthday party last night and ran into other friends. For many years, we were part of a faith-based organisation, met once a month and spent one weekend together every year. Our children were all different ages.
One of my friends shared her vision about getting the children to become friends with the older ones mentoring the younger ones. We created a buddy system, encouraging them to build and leverage these relationships.
This vision turned ‘social experiment’ was about 10 to 15 years ago. Fast forward 15 years, these 'children' are now in or have finished from top universities with excellent career prospects.
As we all know children sometimes listen to their peers more than they do parents. To the delight of the parents these children have helped each other aspire for better results and make some right education and career choices.
The relationship these young people have built over many years has evolved to one of spurring, challenging, coaching, mentoring and encouraging each other.
Our social experiment has produced excellent results and got me thinking of the lessons I’ve learnt from watching them fulfil our vision.
Here are my thoughts:
Have a vision and share it with those who need to be involved
A few of the parents shared their vision on how our children could help each other through a mentoring and support programme. They told a compelling story and other parents bought into it.
What is your vision and who do you need to engage?
Create an enabling environment
As parents who all lived miles apart, we knew the only way our children could develop the relationship was for us to make room for them. Every month, we released them to be with each other and many times, we waited for them even when we were in a hurry. We needed to turn our verbal support into action to help make it happen.
How are you creating an enabling environment for your vision to become a reality?
Location, Location, Location
I watched a video clip of a Google employee talking about Visual Positioning System (VPS) being the next step up from Global Positioning System (GPS).
I’m delighted about that as too many times, I have wondered what direction 10 yards SW is. Having a visual positioning system, that will use my location and identified landmarks to direct me is exciting.
This got me thinking about where we are going in life – career, relationship and business. Where do we need to get to from our current location? Do we have the right infrastructures to help us get there with minimal mistakes along the way?
Are we using a GPS which sometimes doesn’t work or gives unclear direction that requires us to initially go the wrong way just to figure out what the right way is?
Here are some of my thoughts on this
Figure out your starting point and final destination
The two things every gadget needs to direct us are our starting and end locations. For any goals or life journey, we need to map out the road.
If our starting point is unclear, chances are we will waste resources and if our end point is unclear, we will miss our destination. So do an honest assessment of where you are, which might mean facing some denials that you’re currently living in.
Maybe you blame everyone, but you, for your current position, you believe the odds are stacked against you, you don’t have what it takes or perhaps it’s just not your luck. If so, it’s time to bin these thoughts and take a risk on yourself.
Doing nothing produces nothing but taking a risk could result in something.
Determine the best route to get to your destination.
Through my career, I had short, medium and long-term plans to help achieve my goals. I found that when I meticulously followed them, I achieved most of my goals in the set timescales.
How are you going to get to your destination? Do you have a plan and are you committed to it? Every step you take should move you closer to your end goal if you have created the right plan.
A plan is just a bunch of ideas until you follow through. Keep your plans in plain sight so you and others can hold you to account.
Find a mentor
Mentors have made a difference in my personal and professional lives.
Some have stretched and challenged me, giving me the confidence to put myself forward for opportunities sooner that I would have wanted to. This has resulted in fantastic outcomes and proving to myself that I am more capable than I sometimes give myself credit for.
Mentors can help get you to your destination, saving you time and effort as you learn from their expertise and experience. This is similar to Google app giving you directions that improves your chances of getting to your destination quicker.
Some very royal lessons
No one does royal weddings like the British and the latest one was not an exception. Millions of people from around the world watched the bride marry her prince to much pomp and pageantry.
It was an opportunity for hope, faith and love to be restored to the hearts of many. For others it was about the celebration, pride in the royal institution, fashion and the cake. Many careers were made over the weekend.
Millions now know the British wedding gown designer and future designs of clothes, cakes and event planning will be shaped by this weekend.
As I write this week’s post, I thought it was only fitting that I share my life and career lessons from the royal wedding weekend. 
Invest in and nurture a dream
Most little girls dream of marrying a prince some day. Others dream of becoming a pilot, doctor, astronaut, nurse, teacher, engineer or a mom. It’s not about the career choice, rather it’s that they have a dream.
Question is, ‘did Meghan’s parent know they were raising a daughter who would become a future duchess in England?’ If they knew that, would they have done any thing different in how they raised her?
Would her acquaintances, co-workers, friends and family members have acted differently if they had caught a glimpse of her future?
What can you do differently today as a parent or carer, a co-worker, friend or family member that will make sure you can be a beautiful part of someone’s dream and future story.
Prepare for your future
Did Meghan know she would be married to her prince some day and how did she prepare for this?
We can learn from her determination to become a successful actress, overcoming the challenges and odds of a tough industry, the grace with which she carried herself and the causes she lent her voice and time to.
She didn’t start to show these qualities after she met her prince. She was already a person that was worth taking another look at, one that would confirm she’s the one.
So how are you preparing for your future? Dreams don’t just become a reality. They take time, effort, determination and you have to keep working at it till your Master, prince or moment comes. 
Wait for your moment to come
While you are waiting for your moment, make sure you don’t give up or check out of the race called life. Keep going, stay busy doing the right things and start building a resume, dossier or legacy that will be ready when your moment comes.
It wasn’t just Meghan and Harry waiting for their moments, many of the invited guests were too. Some guests were there because of their accomplishments or service to others and many were shocked to get an invitation.
What led to their invitation to a royal event had been years in the making. They, like you, might have wondered, ‘who sees me and what I am doing in this little corner?’. Someone sees. Royalty sees you and all you need to do is stay faithful until you are called out for public recognition.
You’ve got something to say, so say it
We’ve all got something to say and have stories to tell. Who can you inspire today? Express yourself! Surprise yourself!
Change is coming. Get ready!
Sometimes change is forced on us, at others times, we seek out the change we want and go after it. The one thing I have found is that we have to be prepared for change regardless of how it comes
Is ‘your pot’ big enough?
Last week’s post was inspired by a plant so I thought I would continue the trend this week. Recently a friend gave me a plant and it was in a small pot, and she explained that if I wanted it to grow really big, all I needed to do was plant it in a larger pot. This particular plant’s size is determined by the space it is given.
I found this fascinating. Of course, I know the conditions that make plants grow but there are some plants that stay the same regardless of the size of their pots.
What does this mean for us?
Where we are planted and the conditions we are planted in will work together to determine our growth potentials and outcomes.
Where are you planted?
Have you figured out where you are meant to be?
Is working in a large or small company the right thing for you? Do you have to be in the city or will an opportunity in a quieter town suffice? Being in the right place at the right time makes a great difference to our journey in life. We owe it to ourselves to figure this out and not be influenced by other people’s choices. Just because everyone is moving somewhere doesn’t mean it’s right for you.
What company do you currently keep?
Have a look at the people who are closest to you and see if the qualities they possess enhance your life and uplift you. Who are the five people closest to you and what do you learn from them? It is said some of your future accomplishments will be determined by the companies you keep today. Some of us surround ourselves with only those who agree with our viewpoints or tell us only what we want to hear, so we miss out on opportunities to be and do better.
What are you feeding on?
Too many people feed on a junk diet but expect a dream body, sadly it doesn’t work like that. I see people who are obsessed with their bodies and have low self-esteem, yet they spend their time watching reality TV shows and magazines that are filled with people who are perfectly made up. It’s no surprise they feel bad about themselves.
In the same way, we can fill our minds with negativity or spend too much time with those who never see the good in any situation and lack an attitude of gratitude. It’s time to change your diet to achieve the life that you want.
My plant is still in a small pot because I haven’t made time to go find it a larger pot and I know I am stifling it and limiting its potential. Some of us are doing that, not to a plant, but to our lives.