What chapter are you in ‘Your Book’?
The inspiration for this week’s post came as I walked out of my front door and spotted one of my plants with little buds that signalled life.
Through the winter months, my garden looks dire, dreary and uninspiring. Some plants look like dried twigs and it’s very tempting to give up on them.
One year, I told my gardener that we needed to uproot a plant as it was dead but he smiled and told me it was still fine and we should just wait and see. He pruned the plant which was painful to watch and true to form, the hydrangea came back to life looking as beautiful as ever.
This makes me think of our lives as being more than snapshots of events. We often see each other’s lives in moments or based on time periods and very rarely do we see the totality of a person’s life.
When we look at ourselves and others, what do we see? Do we see a failure or a disappointment? Perhaps you see an unsuccessful career, a fading glory or a failing business? Maybe you see a successful career, marriage and family.
Regardless of what we see, we need to know that life can be likened to reading a chapter in a book, watching a clip from a movie or seeing a plant in a particular season.
So, what does this mean for me and for you?
Don’t give up on yourself
For me it means hope and it encourages me to never give up because what appears dead today can be alive tomorrow. This can be a dream, career, marriage, relationship, business and your faith. Even when my plants look dead, the potential for life is still there though hidden to my natural eyes.
Don’t judge isolated moments or seasons
It reminds me never to judge anyone based on the season they are in. Perhaps things aren’t great today, but it can and will turn around. We need to remember that a blip is just a blip and it doesn’t mean it’s over.
Don’t give up on others
I'm encouraged not to give up on others. We need to learn to see beyond an event in a person’s life, see past a poor choice or bad decision they’ve made and help them to see so they don’t give into despair. I am sure we all know at least one person who appeared to miss it big time based on a mistake but that’s not always the end of the story.
I have seen teenage mothers go back to university and get their qualifications, wayward sons come back home and rebuild their lives, ex-convicts starting all over again and moving on to have successful careers and family. I have also seen broken relationships healed and restored.
One step, two steps ….. then one day!
I told you last week that I was excited by a quote by Mark Twain that says, "Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection". This week I want to explore this quote further and apply it differently. What did Mark Twain
Grow and move. Then grow some more …
As I consider what to write about this week, I am reminded of and excited by a quote from Mark Twain that says, "Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection"
My question to you today is, 'what are you doing to continuously improve yourself?'
We are created to grow and move - spiritually, physically, mentally and intellectually.
Physically, if you stop moving around, there will be consequences of weight gain, poor circulation, joint pains. Also, we have to keep learning and growing or we stagnate.
I heard most successful people read every day including many CEOs. They are busy people, so there is something to be said for them making time to read despite their busyness. They read to improve themselves.
Do you make time to continuously improve yourself or do you find enough reasons not to?
For me the pendulum swings both ways. There are times when I am quite disciplined and make time to read or learn something every day and at other times, it all goes out the window. I'm the same person and my busyness is about the same so why do I move like a yo-yo between the two extremes of doing a lot and doing nothing at all?
It all boils down to habit and the choices I make every day. Sometimes it’s that choice between watching a TV show and reading or getting on to social media and losing track of time. Other times, it’s a good choice of doing my brain training or spending quality time with family and friends.
Making myself and others better is my passion and one of the enablers of this is learning new things everyday, applying my learning and seeking feedback from those around me.
Here are some tips to help you on your journey to a better version of yourself.
Have a social media fast one day a week and invest in yourself on this day
Learn a new cuisine or language. The list of what you can do is endless. The important thing is that you switch off gadgets and switch on ‘Project You’.
ATTITUDE – that small thing with a huge impact
Hi everyone. Welcome to the final post in the series birthed out of ‘Be Inspired 2018 conference’.
I met many amazing people and each person had a story worth telling. After listening to Heather Clark, I knew I had to share her story with you.
I first heard her story at the 'Be Inspired 2016 conference', but this year brought the second instalment of her journey which I found just as inspirational.
To help manage her morning sickness, Heather’s mum was prescribed Thalidomide which resulted in her being born with virtually no arms and legs.
Her parents had many choices to make including how to raise her to become all she was destined to be. She grew up knowing no limits and not seeing any difference compared to others.
If there was one word that summarised what I learnt from Heather, it was ATTITUDE.
The first thing that struck me was that she held no animosity towards the doctor that prescribed the medication to her mum. She forgave them. This set her free from carrying around anger and bitterness.
This is closely followed by her positive attitude to life. She is full of excitement and has chosen to live her life to the fullest right from a young age till now.
She has a can-do attitude, one that refused to let anything stop her from achieving her dreams of becoming a successful Television journalist and athlete who has represented Great Britain in the Paralympic Games thrice.
Overcoming adversity
Hi everyone. Last week, I promised to share about some inspirational people. So, meet Steven Robinson, the one-armed pilot. Steven lost his right arm at the age of 18 after a tragic motor-cross accident and this came after enduring bullying throughout
A dose of reality and other lessons
I had this week’s post all figured out but after spending Thursday in the classroom called life, I feel the need to share some of my lessons.
I was looking forward to the International women’s day and the inspirational event organised by Melanie Malcolm of Yorkshire ladies link. I spent some time, the day before, agonising about what I would wear and almost cracked that nut before going to bed.
Thursday morning, I woke up to unexpected and generous amount of snow. I wondered who didn’t get the memo that I had somewhere to be. I hate driving on snow.
My immediate reaction was to moan and crawl back into bed, but before I gave in to that thought, a friend calls to tell me she wanted to go with me.
Shoot! There goes my escape. I now have to brave the snow but at least I would have some company for the journey so it wasn’t so bad or scary.
Before I even stepped out of the door, my first lessons were:
1. The world doesn’t revolve round me, my comfort zone and what I want. Deal with ‘it’. ‘It’ for me that day was the snow.
2. Even the best laid out plans have to change and it’s not a big deal. I had my clothes all planned, but priorities changed. I needed to dress for weather and not for fashion. Go figure!
3. A timely intervention can set us on the right path. Getting a call from my friend and realising that I needed to get us to the event, pushed any fear of driving on snow aside.
4. Life is easier with the right people in it. Knowing I wouldn’t be alone in the car on slippery roads eased my anxiety
At the event, I was amazed at the determination, adaptability and resilience of the organisers and the participants. All their preparation and perfectly laid out plans went out the window. At times like this, we are faced with choices to - give in to the disappointment or push through, give up or go on? Remain in the old mindset or look for new possibilities? I watched the organisers’ tireless efforts to re-arrange programme, make calls and communicate potential changes to the participants whilst remaining positive, courteous and professional. Kudos to the ‘cool, calm and collected’ Yorkshire Ladies Link team. Then came the inspiring speakers, starting with Chris Pointon who lost his amazing wife, Kate Granger, after a battle with cancer. There weren’t many dry eyes in the room as Chris shared their story. Instead of the session being about how unfair life can be, it was about how we can all make a difference.Time to take stock
I have wanted to write this post for a couple of weeks. It’s been 15 posts and three months since I started my blog so I figure it’s time to take stock.
Is it what I thought it would be like?
Has the journey been easy?
Have I been scared, anxious or disappointed?
Am I glad I took this step of faith?
Am I having the impact I hoped for?
These are just some of the questions on my mind as I take stock of the past three months. The calling to start a blog came to me on the 12th of November 2017 and two weeks later, I published my first post. I still remember the feelings of joy and elation as I saw the numbers of views go up. So what have I learnt over the past three months? I have learnt to take risks. I took a risk when I opted to leave my job in the bank, and I took another when I decided to start a blog. It was scary to start with, as I questioned my decisions but in hindsight, I am glad I took both risks.
It’s true that not all risks pay off but your next one just might. If you don’t take a risk, nothing happens but if you do something good might happen.
It’s ok to be disappointed but don’t wallow in the cesspool of disappointment. Some posts have done better than others and on the odd days there are no views at all. I can’t help but be disappointed in those moments but then I remind myself to look at the bigger picture. Quite often the numbers are made up a day later. I have a choice to focus on a part of the journey or to look at the whole. 
One view only sees a challenge or a disappointing moment while the other sees an end goal being accomplished after many ups and downs.
You can be afraid but don’t let fear stop you from moving forward. There are times when I fear if I will run out of topics to write or thoughts to share. If I allow the fear to take root, I reckon it will paralyse me.
So, I remind myself of those who have had a blog for years or novelists who are able to churn out book after book. If they can find something to say, why can’t I? Also if push comes to shove, no one is holding a gun to my head insisting that I keep blogging. If a day comes that I want to wave goodbye to blogging, it’s my choice.
Really, there’s nothing to fear and nothing to be anxious about.
The real and true you
As I write this week’s post, two thoughts form the backdrop.
Last week, a reader asked me to write an article on, ‘working or living with someone with a sadistic tendency’. I didn’t think I was qualified to write about this and it didn’t fit in with what my Blog is about. I promised to look into the subject because people matter.
In the same week, I watched a film where a father called his twin girls pumpkins. One of the girls responded by saying, “we are not pumpkins, daddy, we are girl people”. The father laughed and agreed they were not pumpkins.
Thinking about these two scenarios, my thought today is all about who we are as people.
When you look in the mirror, who do you see looking back at you? When you drop the act and let your guards down, who are you?
If your nearest and dearest were asked about you, who would they say you are? How would your co-workers describe you?
How does the atmosphere change when you walk into a place?
Is it warmer, liberating, joyful and hopeful or does it become cold, stifling, impossible, scary and depressing? Are people glad and excited when you walk into a room or when you leave? Food for thought.
I love the innocence of the girls who said they were now ‘girl people’. They knew who they were and it wasn't pumpkins.
What do you need to change about who you are today and how you are seen by others? Are you going to remain a ‘pumpkin’ or reintroduce yourself as a person?
Resilient, Responsible and Reflective
These words struck me the first time I saw them on the wall of a school hall. I wondered what made the school come up with them, boldly publishing the words on their wall.
What thought process led to the school deciding these were the most important words to share with their people? And how do they sell it to them?
I wrote the words down and pondered on them for a while. So, I have decided to explore why they should matter to us.
Resilience is the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties, it signifies toughness and the ability to quickly return to a previous 'good' condition from difficult conditions. It means to be strong, tough, and hardy.
Responsible is to be capable of being trusted and Reflective is characterized by deep thought and describes a person who thinks things through.
Putting these words together, a person who is resilient, responsible and reflective would have to be someone who can be trusted to do what they commit to. They think deeply which means they understand the consequences of their actions and decisions and they are able to bounce back when things don’t go to plan.
These are admirable qualities for anyone to have and they can be wrapped up to create a unique brand.
In life, we all face tough situations that will break some people so the attitude we adopt and the stance we take in tough times will define how well we come out on the other side.
My challenge for us is that we become responsible. For some, this is already how you are seen by those around you but for others, you know you can be more responsible and trust worthy so why not start today. Let your ‘No’ be No’ and your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes’.
We can all be more reflective. This means we don’t rush headlong into decisions or relationships, but we take time to gather information, analyse them, understand the bigger picture so we are well-informed before we act.
Circle of Trust and Accountability
A dear friend of mine suggested I write about circle of trust and accountability so you have him to thank for this week’s post.
Trust is defined as reliance on the integrity, strength, ability and surety of a person or thing
Accountability is the state of being accountable, liable or answerable. And being accountable means a person is subject to the obligation to report, explain, or justify something
So, what is a circle of trust and accountability? This is a small group of people who decide to build a relationship that provides a safe place for them to grow and become better versions of themselves. To do this, they agree to look out for each other, learn together, share and be accountable to one another. They will tell you the truth no matter how hard it is.
They have one goal in mind which is to help each other be all they were created to be.
They call you out when you are making excuses, recognise when you are scared and help you refine your thought process by asking useful questions. They point out potential flaws in your arguments, actions, decisions and behaviour.
Ultimately with them, you know when you are falling short of expectations and what to do about it. They help you, cheer you on, recognise your achievements and celebrate your successes.
Do you know people who are completely clueless about how they come across and how their actions negatively impact others?
Before you rack your brain recalling all of them, look in the mirror and add yourself to the list.
We all have parts of ourselves that are hidden to us but not to others. The only way we will ever know is if people tell us and that is a hard thing.
Not everyone feels comfortable giving feedback because they are worried about how it might be received and frankly speaking we don’t want to offend anyone.