Surviving Tag

What do you need to say thank you for? It has been a wet week but for once I was grateful for the rain in the middle of the British summer. The gardens were crying out for a relief from weeks of intense sunshine. So was I. As I pondered about saying thank you for the rain, I thought about people we need to say thank you to and things we need to say thank you for. For the most part, when we consider saying thanks, we think of good things. But I want to spin this on its head and challenge us to think about the ‘Not so great’ things that we can still be thankful for. We take the power away from situations when we look for the lessons they teach and the opportunities they give us to discover we are stronger than we thought. When we are in the thick of a situation, it’s difficult to find the good in it but if we look hard enough we will always find some good. As I pondered about the experiences that I am thankful for, a few stories came to mind. Thankful for being cheated, bullied and feeling powerless img_6850I remembered the first time I felt cheated and bullied. I was in primary school and a teacher wanted me to name the noise makers. I told her I didn’t know who they were and she accused me of protecting them and decided to send me out to sit in the hot sun. I felt powerless. Later she found out the school inspectors were visiting the school and asked me to come inside the class. I refused and told her that if she was right in punishing me, then she had nothing to fear. I took my power back. I was proud that I stood up for myself and this experience prepared me to deal with bullies later in life. I am thankful for learning I had a right to fair treatment. Today, I remind myself that if I could speak out against injustice as a child, I have no reason to stop now. Thankful for when the money wasn’t enough I am thankful that my parents couldn’t afford everything I wanted and I didn’t have everything I desired. I knew what I wanted but I understood what my parents had to offer. This led me to look for a part-time job as a student. I worked as a trainer with a Consulting firm which massively boosted my confidence as I found myself training people old enough to be my parents. I was scared the first time I walked into a training room full of strangers who looked at me wondering if I was in the right room. I am so grateful that I took a job for the money but got so much more in return. The job is still paying me forward today as I get opportunities to speak at events. Thankful for being told ‘No’ There were many times in my career that I was told ‘No’. ‘No’ on the back of job interviews, ‘No’ to getting an opportunity to develop a new skill and sometimes ‘No’ to being chosen to be part of what I considered to be interesting work. Every ‘No’ drove me to work harder and do self-assessments on what I could have done differently. On the back of these, I was able to take the necessary actions. I went for qualifications years before I needed them. I prepared better for interviews and I worked hard on any opportunities that I was given. Soon I became the person people wanted to work with and leaders were proud to have on their teams. Some missed opportunities turned out not to be so great. Was I disappointed when I got the ‘No’?. You bet. Did I give in to despair? Yes, for a bit but then I dusted myself off and learnt from each experience. Today, I am confident in my ability to do great work.

I had this week’s post all figured out but after spending Thursday in the classroom called life, I feel the need to share some of my lessons. I was looking forward to the International women’s day and the inspirational event organised by Melanie Malcolm of Yorkshire ladies link. I spent some time, the day before, agonising about what I would wear and almost cracked that nut before going to bed. Thursday morning, I woke up to unexpected and generous amount of snow. I wondered who didn’t get the memo that I had somewhere to be. I hate driving on snow. My immediate reaction was to moan and crawl back into bed, but before I gave in to that thought, a friend calls to tell me she wanted to go with me. Shoot! There goes my escape. I now have to brave the snow but at least I would have some company for the journey so it wasn’t so bad or scary. Before I even stepped out of the door, my first lessons were:

1. The world doesn’t revolve round me, my comfort zone and what I want. Deal with ‘it’. ‘It’ for me that day was the snow.

2. Even the best laid out plans have to change and it’s not a big deal. I had my clothes all planned, but priorities changed. I needed to dress for weather and not for fashion. Go figure!

3. A timely intervention can set us on the right path. Getting a call from my friend and realising that I needed to get us to the event, pushed any fear of driving on snow aside.

4. Life is easier with the right people in it. Knowing I wouldn’t be alone in the car on slippery roads eased my anxiety

At the event, I was amazed at the determination, adaptability and resilience of the organisers and the participants. All their preparation and perfectly laid out plans went out the window. At times like this, we are faced with choices to - give in to the disappointment or push through, give up or go on? Remain in the old mindset or look for new possibilities? I watched the organisers’ tireless efforts to re-arrange programme, make calls and communicate potential changes to the participants whilst remaining positive, courteous and professional. Kudos to the ‘cool, calm and collected’ Yorkshire Ladies Link team. Then came the inspiring speakers, starting with Chris Pointon who lost his amazing wife, Kate Granger, after a battle with cancer. There weren’t many dry eyes in the room as Chris shared their story. Instead of the session being about how unfair life can be, it was about how we can all make a difference.