Who Is Holding You Back?

Last week’s thought provoking post was about making each day count.

This week I want to build on that by asking the question, ‘What or who is holding you back? What’s stopping you from doing the things you want to do and being the person you want to be?’

Who is to blame for your unspoken or unfulfilled dreams? Who is to blame for that job promotion you didn’t go for? Who is to blame for the relationship you took for granted? Who is to blame for the risks you didn’t take? What stopped you from making those tough choices that would have helped you accomplish your goals?

Recently I was delivering a training and saw different levels of personal investments from the participants, ranging from those who grabbed me at every opportunity they had to those who couldn’t wait for the breaks or end of day.

They all got their certificates but what each person invested into their own personal development will either serve them well or not so well.

To get your act together, you have to be willing to be brutally honest with yourself. It’s tough realising you are the only person holding yourself back all along.

So how do we address this?

Firstly do an honest review of where you are at. Is it where you expected to be? If not, make a commitment to do something about it. Have a kind but honest conversation with yourself like you would someone you love. You owe yourself that much.

Secondly turn your commitment into action. Unless you are committed to changing, nothing will change and the landscape remains the same. So it’s not enough to accept that change is required, move on to the next stage and get your sleeves dirty.

Thirdly, get rid of the victim mindset. Too many of us would like to believe that factors outside of ourselves are holding us back and that might be true to some extent. But the question I ask myself is, ‘Are there others in exactly the same situation getting a different outcome and if so what are they doing differently?’

In the same tough economy, some people are thriving while others are struggling. I see people resent the success of others while not embracing the work it too for them to be successful.

Fourthly, focus on yourself. It’s easy to envy someone’s position, fortune or lot in life but have we walked in their shoes? Are we willing to burn the midnight oil like them? Are we able to make the sacrifices they continually make? Are we investing in our on-going personal development?

The reality is that in most cases, the opportunities go to those who have prepared and are ready for it. So the question is are you preparing for the opportunities you want in 6 months time, next year or in three year’s time?

Do you have foresight and are you strategic in your planning towards your vision and your future? Focus on yourself and what you need to do differently.

In conclusion, don’t give too much power to factors outside of you because the reality is that most times, we are the only ones stopping ourselves. Yes things will be easier if everything and everyone were perfectly in place and aligned to push us ahead.

For everything and everyone that is not aligned, there will be another way or another person. For each person that says no, there is one person waiting to say yes if we don’t give up before we find them.

I love a passage from the Bible which says, I can do all things in Christ who gives me strength. It’s my go-to prompt and reminder not to make too many excuses and not to blame others for things I am yet to accomplish.

Thanks for reading my weekly posts. It would be great if more people could access it so I would really love for you to share it with others. Have a great week.