From The Centre To The Periphery

Everything Ends. What happens when the world no longer stops for you? What happens when you are no longer in control or the Centre of attention? What happens when a phase of your life comes to an end?

I was talking to a friend recently about the emptiness that some people feel when a phase of their lives comes to an end. Many feel a sense of loss of relevance when they leave a position that once kept them busy, needed or wanted.

The loss of a child or a spouse would also trigger the same sense of loss; who are you without them? Once children have grown up and left home; who are you without them? Many things eventually come to an end and we must constantly redefine ourselves as we go through the various life stages.

Childhood

All of us have memories of our childhood, some would have been mind blowing and some, sadly, may have been traumatic. Eventually childhood comes to an end and we move to the next stage.

Some changes must be made as we transition.

Youth

The youth stage eventually comes to an end. The things that mattered when we were young suddenly seem insignificant. The times we thought we couldn’t get through, the relationships we thought we couldn’t live without now put a smile on our faces as we ask, “what were we thinking?”

The pimples on the face, the hormonal changes and the comparisons to others who developed early or were popular soon lose their impacts. This stage also comes to an end and so should the insecurities, fears and other negative emotions associated with that stage.

Career

Careers come to an end for various reasons – voluntary or forced redundancy, retirement or due to an illness or change of trajectory.

I remember the feeling that I had when I left a seventeen year career; it was a loss of identity and wondering who I was without the career. This happens to all of us as careers come to an end or even as jobs change.

The comfort zone of what you did unconsciously well is ripped from you and once again the need to prove yourself in another sector takes centre stage.

Dreams

Dreams also come to an end. Recently I was listening to a retired athlete talking about the mental health challenges post retirement. He said it was like watching the world go on without him; the public admiration was gone, the adulation and feelings of relevance were gone.

He felt like screaming to the world to remind them he was still here and ask how they could forget him and all his accomplishments. This must be a real challenge for those in the public eye. What happens when the world no longer stops for you?

Relationships

Relationships come to an end as friends move away, adult children leave home or when the relationships or friendships fail. Your childhood best friend could move to the other end of the world and you lose the security blanket of having them close by.

Life

Even life comes to an end at some point whether we want it to or not.

So what can we do when we are shoved from the ‘Centre stage’ to the ‘periphery’?

Remember, the show must go on

Remember that ‘The Show’, your life, must go on. Just because something comes to an end does not signify your end. Accept the cycle of life. The final curtain call is the end but until then, you must choose to keep living, evolving and building your life.

Embrace the change

Your only choice to care for your mental wellbeing is to embrace and make the most of the change. Think of new opportunities and blessings that this change now affords you. Consider opportunities that you couldn’t previously maximise, perhaps the free time you have can now be used wisely.

Redefine yourself

When a phase comes to an end, it’s an opportunity to reflect and think of what parts of the old you would still work in the new phase, and what parts need to end with the old.

Fill the void by finding meaningful things to do – this could be voluntary work, mentoring of the next generation, working with the vulnerable or picking up a new skill or hobby.

Be thankful

Be thankful for this new phase of your life. Be thankful there is still breathe in you and for your health. Be thankful that the end of a phase wasn’t the end of you.

Thanks for reading my post. Have an awesome week.