All Good Or All Bad?

As humans, we have tendencies to make snap judgements and decisions about ourselves and others. I hear people say they are no good at something just because it didn’t come naturally to them and that snap judgement continued to hinder them.

Recently, I was waiting to board a train and saw a mum seeing her children off. She walked them to the train doors and continued alongside the platform as they searched for their seats.

When I got on to the train, my seat was opposite her children’s. She kept giving them instructions for their journey.

Her teenage daughter was embarrassed wishing their mum to leave but the dotting mum wasn’t having any of it. When she looked away pretending to be distracted, her mum would phone her to get her attention.

She was going to parent them to death if that’s what it took to know her children would be safe when she couldn’t be there to protect them.

Time was 7.30am. I also observed the dotting mum had bought loads of candies, chocolates and sugary drinks for their trip and there wasn’t a healthy option in sight.

Her young teenage daughter had extremely long false nails that would make it hard for her to do many basic tasks. Her five year old son had ear piercings with earring and a thick chain round his neck.

The two children were extremely well spoken and behaved throughout the journey. The sister took care of her little brother and the little brother looked up to her several times for approval and instructions.

The sister positioned her brother’s head to rest on her shoulder so he could sleep. But once she too fell asleep, she became more concerned with a position that was comfortable for her.

Her brother woke up and tried to reposition his head and she reflexly moved his head away so he couldn’t lean against her anymore. Her action appeared uncaring.

I showed the little boy how to open his big bag of Peanut M&M chocolate and by the way he fully opened and handled it, I knew it was merely a matter of time before some of the chocolates would be on the floor.

And when that happened his caring sister called him stupid and asked what he wanted her to do about it as he looked to her for help. Eventually she gave him step by step directions which he still struggled to follow.

I could tell she was embarrassed by it all but as a parent who has been there before, I got on my knees with the little boy to pick up the M&Ms from the floor and put them in a separate bag ready to be binned. And I whispered to him that it was an accident and not a big deal.

As he was conscious of prying eyes and probably felt stupid, I tried to make a game out of it as we searched for the missing M&Ms. In that moment it was important to me that he realised his mistake was just that and nothing more.

Throughout the journey, I could have made snap judgements, but these judgements would have changed based on the different scenes. So if I had only seen one scene or even one act, my judgement would have been wrong.

So it is with us. In life we can judge people or ourselves based on one action, chapter or scene and we conclude and speak of them as ‘all good’ or ‘all bad’. Sometimes we are the ones that are being judged in that manner.

Today is about reminding you that you’re not ‘all good’ or ‘all bad’.

Your story is incomplete so don’t let anyone use a snapshot of your story to define you or conclusively tell you your end. Just keep striving to do better each day.