Lessons From My Younger ‘Driving’ Self

In my younger years, I was given the option to attend driver’s awareness course to avoid getting 3 points on my license. This happened to me twice over a period of about eight years before I decided, ‘no more’.

The courses started with the attendees watching sobering videos of accident scenes and the impact of accidents on drivers, passengers and their loved ones. The instructors got us to capture all the reasons why anyone would speed, use the phone while driving, overtake dangerously and all the other ways we drive badly.

Everyone had a story to tell, from rushing to pick up children, not paying attention to changes in speed limits, to desperately trying to get to an interview. Some reasons seemed to be genuine and lent themselves to being understandable but we were reminded that none of that matters when an accident happens and especially if there are fatalities involved.

From risk of life-long injuries, prison sentences to the emotional pain of seeing the effect of an accident on loved ones, there are many reasons to conclude that there are no valid reasons for dangerous or careless driving. Many of us forget the risks of the engine we are handling when we get behind the wheels and others drive in an absent minded way which is why statistics show most accidents happen within a few miles of destinations. This is because people are so used to their commute that they go into auto pilot mode and the closer they are to their homes, the more they are entrenched in the mode.

How often do we drive and get home realising we can’t remember the things that happened on the route including changing traffic lights. Many things would have happened but we missed them all due to inattention.

Here are some of the lessons I learned:

Tyres on Tarmac (TOT)

I learned how to gauge the right amount of space between your car and the one in front of you and I haven’t forgotten the acronym in years. Tyres on Tarmac simply means you must be able to see the where the back wheels of the car in front of you touches the tarmac. If you can see this, that means you have enough space to safely pull out from behind the car if there was a dangerous situation or if they are stalled and the car behind you is too close for you to reverse.

Learning to keep the right distance between you and the car in front empowers you to be in control and escape potentially dicey situations.

Managing outside pressure – Who is driving your car? Really, who is?

One of my most loved lessons was in response to people saying they sometimes felt the pressure to speed up if the car behind them was too closely on their tail. We have all responded to outside pressures by accelerating to put some gap between us and another speeding car but this rarely deters them. Quite often, it emboldens them to accelerate faster and if we are not careful, we are pushed to over speeding even when we clearly know we are not doing the right thing.

To help us handle it, the instructor asked us to repeat the mantra that says we own our cars and we are the drivers. Responding to another driver is akin to letting them be the driver of your car whilst not being inside it. Now, I just remind myself that a speeding driver can’t drive their car and mine so if they are in a hurry, they are welcome to change lane. This self-talk has been a life saver on many occasion.

Centre Lane Owners Club (CLOC)

The other lesson I learned was about being considerate about other drivers and respecting the rules of the road. Many people love to stay in the centre lane and maintain their desired speed limit to remove the need for changing lanes frequently as that requires more attention to be paid and more effort.

Staying in the centre lane is inconsiderate as we might not be doing the right speed which means we force people to slow down or speed up and we stop others from overtaking safely thereby endangering their lives. The instructor reminded us that we don’t own the centre lane and there is no club that gives us permission to hog the lane. It was a funny analogy but it stayed with me and I tell myself off if I stay in the centre lane longer than needed to overtake a slower car.

Mindful Driving

The idea to write this post was inspired by my recent post on mindfulness and the importance of being present so we can be attentive enough to drive safely. Some of the tips I took away included mentally following the contour of the road ahead, paying attention and reading the road to translate the terrain and road signs.

Reading road signs helps us to anticipate bends and speed changes before we get to them. We were also taught to notice what is happening 3 – 5 cars ahead to anticipate slowing traffic before we feel the effects of it. Many multi-vehicle accidents happen because people lose control due to not anticipating what was happening.

One powerful tip that put a smile on my face was to assume every other driver was likely to do a stupid thing and you have to be the sane one who anticipates their actions in time to respond safely and appropriately.

Managing your emotions

Many accidents happen because people are stubborn and want to prove a point about their rights over that of others.

How do you respond when another driver cuts in? Most of us are angry, upset or feel cheated and taken advantage of. What if we changed the narrative and assumed they were rushing home because they fear they left the stove on, or they just got a call about their sick child or an elderly relative has taken a fall.

If you knew such a backstory was applicable, would you still be upset or more understanding; perhaps even have some compassion for them.

Life is not Fair; deal with it

How much time do you gain or save by driving recklessly versus the potential danger and risk to self and others? Many of us feel it’s unfair when caught for a traffic offence which was just borderline because we can remember those who sped faster and got away with it.

Many speed but only a few get caught – your perception of fairness makes no difference and doesn’t justify breaking the rules and it’s no reason for a pardon. Refrain the narrative and find a compelling reason to change your ways. It’s not about getting caught, what if the consequences were more life changing?

Life is not fair, deal with it. It doesn’t matter if this is the first and only time you have made the mistake; there is always someone going faster but you are you and you have to deal with the consequences of your own actions. You can’t justify your actions because of the action of others.

So you are in a rush…. Would it be the end of the world if you were late? What else can you do? Can you pull over and call that you are running behind, can you reschedule and ease the immediate pressure?

The conclusion is there are no acceptable reasons for driving in a way that endangers your life and the lives of others. When all is said and done, arriving at your destination safe, well and in one piece is all that matters. This is a call to embrace ‘Mindfulness in our Driving’. The choice remains yours.

Thanks for reading and sharing my post with others.