Gratitude Tag

What do you need to say thank you for? It has been a wet week but for once I was grateful for the rain in the middle of the British summer. The gardens were crying out for a relief from weeks of intense sunshine. So was I. As I pondered about saying thank you for the rain, I thought about people we need to say thank you to and things we need to say thank you for. For the most part, when we consider saying thanks, we think of good things. But I want to spin this on its head and challenge us to think about the ‘Not so great’ things that we can still be thankful for. We take the power away from situations when we look for the lessons they teach and the opportunities they give us to discover we are stronger than we thought. When we are in the thick of a situation, it’s difficult to find the good in it but if we look hard enough we will always find some good. As I pondered about the experiences that I am thankful for, a few stories came to mind. Thankful for being cheated, bullied and feeling powerless img_6850I remembered the first time I felt cheated and bullied. I was in primary school and a teacher wanted me to name the noise makers. I told her I didn’t know who they were and she accused me of protecting them and decided to send me out to sit in the hot sun. I felt powerless. Later she found out the school inspectors were visiting the school and asked me to come inside the class. I refused and told her that if she was right in punishing me, then she had nothing to fear. I took my power back. I was proud that I stood up for myself and this experience prepared me to deal with bullies later in life. I am thankful for learning I had a right to fair treatment. Today, I remind myself that if I could speak out against injustice as a child, I have no reason to stop now. Thankful for when the money wasn’t enough I am thankful that my parents couldn’t afford everything I wanted and I didn’t have everything I desired. I knew what I wanted but I understood what my parents had to offer. This led me to look for a part-time job as a student. I worked as a trainer with a Consulting firm which massively boosted my confidence as I found myself training people old enough to be my parents. I was scared the first time I walked into a training room full of strangers who looked at me wondering if I was in the right room. I am so grateful that I took a job for the money but got so much more in return. The job is still paying me forward today as I get opportunities to speak at events. Thankful for being told ‘No’ There were many times in my career that I was told ‘No’. ‘No’ on the back of job interviews, ‘No’ to getting an opportunity to develop a new skill and sometimes ‘No’ to being chosen to be part of what I considered to be interesting work. Every ‘No’ drove me to work harder and do self-assessments on what I could have done differently. On the back of these, I was able to take the necessary actions. I went for qualifications years before I needed them. I prepared better for interviews and I worked hard on any opportunities that I was given. Soon I became the person people wanted to work with and leaders were proud to have on their teams. Some missed opportunities turned out not to be so great. Was I disappointed when I got the ‘No’?. You bet. Did I give in to despair? Yes, for a bit but then I dusted myself off and learnt from each experience. Today, I am confident in my ability to do great work.

I started my day by revisiting a habit that I had neglected – journaling. I have written in my journal on and off for some time. Recently I picked up my journal and realised it had been a few months since my last entry. What happened? I had been busy and so, I stopped doing something that I found very useful. I need to change this. Recently, I heard that it takes over sixty days to form a new habit which contradicts previous claims of twenty-one days. This has got me thinking about habits that I need to re-introduce if I’m to achieve my goal of being a more purposeful me. The first habit I want to take up again is focussing my journal on gratitude. Life often comes with challenges. If we are not careful, we end up only seeing the challenges and soon lose sight of the blessings. Having a daily habit that focuses on the right things and the blessings of life will give us some perspective and help us to be more appreciative. My plan this morning was to write ten things I was grateful for but the more I wrote, the more I had to write. Three pages on, I went over my notes and counted thirty-two things I was grateful for. As I finished my journal entry, I added a couple more things I was grateful for. These were thirty-four things I had not thought about as I was preoccupied with a recent break in at my house. I thought of the invasion of my privacy, the destruction of the door and the unexpected money that we needed to spend doing the repairs. As I meditated on gratitude today, I was grateful that nothing was taken, no one was hurt or traumatised and we are able to make the necessary changes. By focusing on what I was grateful for, I soon realised the blessings far outweigh the recent upsets. On my journey to becoming a more purposeful me, I am bound to encounter some challenges and setbacks and there’s a risk of me losing sight of the bigger picture. To keep me focused, I have decided to form a new habit of gratitude 'journal-ling'. My plan is to start each day with twenty minutes of journalling focused purely on what I’m grateful for. I’m committing to this for the next seventy days and by the end of this, I’m expecting this to become second nature. I don’t know where you are in life, the current challenges you’re facing or the goals that you have. What I do know is that having an attitude of gratitude will help you to positively and better navigate life. Instead of complaining about your job, children, boss or neighbour be grateful. Be grateful that you’re not alone, for food on your table and that you can get to work without any help. Be grateful for getting to work late because of an accident; remember someone was in that accident and lives might have been lost.