Purposeful you Tag

What do you need to say thank you for? It has been a wet week but for once I was grateful for the rain in the middle of the British summer. The gardens were crying out for a relief from weeks of intense sunshine. So was I. As I pondered about saying thank you for the rain, I thought about people we need to say thank you to and things we need to say thank you for. For the most part, when we consider saying thanks, we think of good things. But I want to spin this on its head and challenge us to think about the ‘Not so great’ things that we can still be thankful for. We take the power away from situations when we look for the lessons they teach and the opportunities they give us to discover we are stronger than we thought. When we are in the thick of a situation, it’s difficult to find the good in it but if we look hard enough we will always find some good. As I pondered about the experiences that I am thankful for, a few stories came to mind. Thankful for being cheated, bullied and feeling powerless img_6850I remembered the first time I felt cheated and bullied. I was in primary school and a teacher wanted me to name the noise makers. I told her I didn’t know who they were and she accused me of protecting them and decided to send me out to sit in the hot sun. I felt powerless. Later she found out the school inspectors were visiting the school and asked me to come inside the class. I refused and told her that if she was right in punishing me, then she had nothing to fear. I took my power back. I was proud that I stood up for myself and this experience prepared me to deal with bullies later in life. I am thankful for learning I had a right to fair treatment. Today, I remind myself that if I could speak out against injustice as a child, I have no reason to stop now. Thankful for when the money wasn’t enough I am thankful that my parents couldn’t afford everything I wanted and I didn’t have everything I desired. I knew what I wanted but I understood what my parents had to offer. This led me to look for a part-time job as a student. I worked as a trainer with a Consulting firm which massively boosted my confidence as I found myself training people old enough to be my parents. I was scared the first time I walked into a training room full of strangers who looked at me wondering if I was in the right room. I am so grateful that I took a job for the money but got so much more in return. The job is still paying me forward today as I get opportunities to speak at events. Thankful for being told ‘No’ There were many times in my career that I was told ‘No’. ‘No’ on the back of job interviews, ‘No’ to getting an opportunity to develop a new skill and sometimes ‘No’ to being chosen to be part of what I considered to be interesting work. Every ‘No’ drove me to work harder and do self-assessments on what I could have done differently. On the back of these, I was able to take the necessary actions. I went for qualifications years before I needed them. I prepared better for interviews and I worked hard on any opportunities that I was given. Soon I became the person people wanted to work with and leaders were proud to have on their teams. Some missed opportunities turned out not to be so great. Was I disappointed when I got the ‘No’?. You bet. Did I give in to despair? Yes, for a bit but then I dusted myself off and learnt from each experience. Today, I am confident in my ability to do great work.

Driving back from an afternoon tea party, I saw a road sign that said ‘surface dressing for one day only’. For some reason, it struck a chord. The road into my town is getting ready for surface dressing. How about that? It got me thinking about the word ‘dressing’ and the importance of dressing the surfaces that we have. When we hear ‘dressing the surface’, I am sure most of us will think about clothes and shoes that are visible to the naked eye. As I thought about 'dressing the surface', I began to consider other things we can dress like our bodies, minds, our spirits and souls. So here are my thoughts on what and how we can dress. [caption id="attachment_870" align="alignleft" width="275"] Photo by pexels.com[/caption] Dress your mind with the right information You might ask, ‘how do you dress the mind?’. You can dress your mind with the right kind of information, knowledge and insight. We are in an age where there are so many tools to help dress our minds, including phone apps, books, podcasts, TED talks and a whole host of YouTube videos. There is information on any topic you want to learn. Now, it’s easy to adorn your mind in the right ways which could translate to improved decisions creating better results. [caption id="attachment_871" align="alignright" width="330"] Photo by Pexels.com[/caption] Dress your mind with the right thoughts Many years ago, I let my preference for introversion dictate what I did and I stayed in a mindset that told me I couldn't do any public speaking. This was until someone gave me an opportunity to speak without the option to say no. I had to learn to think differently about my personal preferences especially when I saw the response from the audience. Today, I speak to audiences of any size without giving a thought to my preference for introversion. The book, 'Quiet' by Susan Cain was really useful in helping me to celebrate and leverage my introversion. You can adorn your mind by thinking the right thoughts and listening to the right information that will nourish you and change your mindset. No one can be better than the information they feed on. So what do you think about? We should think on things that are honourable and worthy of respect, whatever is right, whatever is pure and wholesome, whatever is lovely and brings peace, whatever is admirable and of good repute. We have to replace negative thoughts with positive ones and align our mindsets to work for us.

I was at a friend’s 50th birthday party last night and ran into other friends. For many years, we were part of a faith-based organisation, met once a month and spent one weekend together every year. Our children were all different ages. One of my friends shared her vision about getting the children to become friends with the older ones mentoring the younger ones. We created a buddy system, encouraging them to build and leverage these relationships. This vision turned ‘social experiment’ was about 10 to 15 years ago. Fast forward 15 years, these 'children' are now in or have finished from top universities with excellent career prospects. As we all know children sometimes listen to their peers more than they do parents. To the delight of the parents these children have helped each other aspire for better results and make some right education and career choices. The relationship these young people have built over many years has evolved to one of spurring, challenging, coaching, mentoring and encouraging each other. Our social experiment has produced excellent results and got me thinking of the lessons I’ve learnt from watching them fulfil our vision. Here are my thoughts: Have a vision and share it with those who need to be involved A few of the parents shared their vision on how our children could help each other through a mentoring and support programme. They told a compelling story and other parents bought into it. What is your vision and who do you need to engage? Create an enabling environment As parents who all lived miles apart, we knew the only way our children could develop the relationship was for us to make room for them. Every month, we released them to be with each other and many times, we waited for them even when we were in a hurry. We needed to turn our verbal support into action to help make it happen. How are you creating an enabling environment for your vision to become a reality?

As I consider what to write about this week, I am reminded of and excited by a quote from Mark Twain that says, "Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection" My question to you today is, 'what are you doing to continuously improve yourself?' We are created to grow and move - spiritually, physically, mentally and intellectually. Physically, if you stop moving around, there will be consequences of weight gain, poor circulation, joint pains. Also, we have to keep learning and growing or we stagnate. I heard most successful people read every day including many CEOs. They are busy people, so there is something to be said for them making time to read despite their busyness. They read to improve themselves. Do you make time to continuously improve yourself or do you find enough reasons not to? For me the pendulum swings both ways. There are times when I am quite disciplined and make time to read or learn something every day and at other times, it all goes out the window. I'm the same person and my busyness is about the same so why do I move like a yo-yo between the two extremes of doing a lot and doing nothing at all? It all boils down to habit and the choices I make every day. Sometimes it’s that choice between watching a TV show and reading or getting on to social media and losing track of time. Other times, it’s a good choice of doing my brain training or spending quality time with family and friends. Making myself and others better is my passion and one of the enablers of this is learning new things everyday, applying my learning and seeking feedback from those around me. Here are some tips to help you on your journey to a better version of yourself. img_2447-2Have a social media fast one day a week and invest in yourself on this day Learn a new cuisine or language. The list of what you can do is endless. The important thing is that you switch off gadgets and switch on ‘Project You’.