New beginning or painful ending?
"New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings". Lao Tzu
This quote is quite poignant for me. I have a choice to focus on the end of my 16- plus year banking career or I can focus on the fresh start this now gives me.
A fresh start to do an assessment of my life to date, a look ahead to what I want it to look like in 5, 10, 20 years and the legacy I can build that will outlive me. What an incredible gift this is!
Does it always feel like a gift? I wish. Many times, it feels like a pipe dream that could easily go up in smokes. It feels like leaving the ‘job security’ behind and taking on a huge risk. It feels scary, daunting, and challenging.
So, what can I do to make sure I focus on the right things and have the right mindset that helps me to see the positives and the opportunities?
I must take my past learning, experiences and skills and repackage this to work for me in my new beginning.
I need to identify my fears, face and overcome them, making a choice to look forward only and not be distracted or held back by my past. I must focus my gaze on my new beginning and remind myself daily of this quote.
I will find people who can speak into any areas of insecurity that I have and not be afraid to be vulnerable. That’s the only way they will know I need help and for me to get the support that will help me achieve my goals.
A lot of Sou and no ffle
One of my passions is cooking and I like to attempt tricky recipes just for the fun of it. I still remember making my first soufflé over ten years ago and wondering if it would rise or fall. Recently I was watching 'Masterchef - the professionals' and contestants in the skills test were asked to create a soufflé which they all did with varying degrees of success. One of the contestants went through the right steps and appeared to have got his ingredients correctly measured out, yet his soufflé did not rise as expected despite his best efforts. When the judges reviewed his soufflé, Monica Galetti uttered the phrase, "you had a lot of Sou and no ffle". Her comment soon became a rib tickling catchphrase between my sister and I. After three days of laughing at this comment, the penny finally dropped. I realised there was a lesson - about actions not translating to desired results or expectations. I am sure we have all had some 'sou and no ffle' moments. These quickly become defining moments when some life impacting choices come up.
- Do you allow yourself to be defeated, never to make another soufflé or do you get up and make another one even if you’re the only that’s going to eat it?
- Do you allow yourself to be defined by this mistake or failure or do you shake it off, learn from it and move on?
- Do you allow yourself to be haunted by this failure or shortfall adding to others that you have filed in your ‘failure archive’?
So what do I do when I don't get my desired results and when my archives creep back up?
Knock knock! Are you ready?
In my last post, I talked about opportunities knocking on our doors throughout this year. So, the question is, ‘are we going to be ready when they come?’ To answer this, I want to share a story with you and it’s all about 'doing your part and being ready to take your chances'. A few years ago, one of my work colleagues suggested I write a book after I shared some personal stories
Knock Knock. Who’s there?
My nephew came to visit a while back when he was about two years old. Many times he would knock on the door and I would ask, ‘who is there?’ he would reply, ‘it’s me’. Again I would ask, ‘who is me?’ And he would say, ‘it’s David’. I then get up to open the door to his delight. The truth is that I knew it was him before he even knocked. I recognised the sound of his tiny feet and his knock. He was the only child in the house and the only person who knocked if any door was closed. I enjoyed playing these ‘knock knock’ games with him throughout his visit. I am reminded of that game as I ponder what is knocking as we start a new year.
- What opportunities are knocking on our doors?
- Who is knocking on our doors?
- What will be on the other side of the doors when we open them?
- Will you hear and recognise the knocks when they come?
Happy new, limitless and purposeful 2018
It’s New Year’s eve and time for another post. It hasn’t been easy coming up with the right message given the significance of what’s just ahead of us….. a whole new year with 365 days. Everyday is a new gift to us and we get to unwrap this gift and enjoy it, all 365 of them. I could write about reflections or setting new year goals, resolutions and new beginnings. It’s about
Get where you want to go
I ended my last post by referring to the quote by Henry David Thoreau that says, "Never look back unless you are planning to go that way."
It is easy to say don’t look back but, some people might ask, ‘what does that mean or what practical steps can I take?’
This quote is a timely reminder at a time when I'm leaving my old career behind to pursue new opportunities. There's a risk that I could be tempted to look back at the familiar especially at those times when fear and self-doubt will inevitably crop up.
This happens to the best of us and I must think now of what to do when that happens. I need a plan now as it will be too late to come up with one if fear and self-doubt has already crept in.
So, here are some tips to help you move in the direction you want to go.
Know the ‘What’ and ‘Why’
Write down the vision and your 'why'. This is critical as if you don’t know where you are going, there’s no way to know when you arrive. At the earliest stage, define what you want to achieve and why it is important. This becomes your motivation.
Create a plan of action Have a plan so you know what to do on a daily and weekly basis. This will be useful on days when you’re not in the mood or don’t feel motivated. If you stick with the scheduled actions and discipline yourself to follow through, you will move in the right direction.
Timing…. Why now?
I have asked myself this question on many occasions.
I worked in Banking for over 16 years. While this wasn’t a planned career path, I made the most of the opportunities I had. I got many qualifications, moved through different areas of the bank and worked with many amazing people as well as some challenging ones.
Through it all, I honed my skills and grew both personally and professionally with loads of exciting and truly joyful moments.
On the one hand, I wouldn’t trade any of it but on the other hand, I can't help asking myself. 'What would have been if I had figured out and pursued my purpose and passion all these years?'.
What would I have accomplished if I became organized sooner, facing my fears and tackling the insecurities that have kept me in my comfort zone?
As I asked myself, ‘why now?’, I took the time to think about the past two decades. I thought of the people I have met, my mistakes, the learnings and wisdom gleaned from others.
I realise my life is richer now and I have more to offer to the world. I know that instead of looking back, I've got to press forward, forge ahead and trust that now is a great time to start.